For Restrooms, There Is No Identity Crisis

Some days I wonder if we’ve gone too far. You know, past the point of no return. Have we reached the precipice, where not only is common sense not too common, but it’s not even valued? Has political correctness run amok finally managed to strangle any semblance of being an overall sane and socially stable nation?

These questions stem from the recent cases of transgender students and their desire, and accommodation, to use restroom facilities in high schools located in Virginia, Ohio and Missouri. Has it come to this, really?

I get it, some people are troubled. Some people no doubt, legitimately suffer from the confusion of gender identity. Although, to be honest, being confused doesn’t change truth. The test to know whether or not you are male or female, in 99.9% of cases, is a pretty easy one. If you’re not familiar with it, ask a friend. I’m sure they can help you.

I could get off track on this, but that isn’t the point of this particular blog. I do believe that no matter how confused someone is, they are still a person. They are to be respected, and as Christians, we are called to love them. This is pretty cut and dry. Having issues with which gender they “identify” with isn’t grounds to torment, bully or even discriminate against them.

Herein lies the problem. In our oversensitive, begging for offense, lost liberal wonderland of no absolutes, people actually believe that denying a person the right to use the wrong restroom is discrimination. Dear God, we’ve all gone cross-eyed.

In case you didn’t know, I’ll help clarify: If you have a penis, you use the boys/men’s restroom commonly labeled with the international symbol for males found on restrooms worldwide. If in fact you have a vagina, you then use the restroom labeled with the international symbol of a female. To the ire of feminists everywhere, this symbol is a figure with a dress. This helps us know it’s a woman. Don’t worry, I’m sure that’s already under attack.

You see, these basic identifiers help answer these questions very clearly. To sum it up: Male parts, male restroom. Female parts, female restroom. How hard is this to grasp?

Had this debate been around in any previous time throughout the history of our great nation, I’m sure there would have been many pubescent boys who suddenly were confused when restroom time rolled around. In what warped, bizarre world are we asking parents to allow their daughters to use the same restroom as a boy, complete with penis, in the name of not discriminating?

When you refuse to allow girls to feel secure in the restroom around other girls and boys to use restrooms with other boys, aren’t you in fact discriminating against those who aren’t confused? Does it make any sense to disrupt the entire restroom structure as we’ve always known it to accommodate .03% of the population? Anyone tapping into their brain to process this knows the answer. Unless of course their radical liberal agenda has clouded their sense of reason.

No matter if the person in question identifies as male, female, puppy, kitten (kids do often identify as puppies and kittens, you know?) or tarantula, the litmus test is to use the restroom with those who have the same equipment. There, problem solved.

If those in our school systems, charged with educating our children to become the future of our nation, aren’t capable of this common sense conclusion, then we’re doomed. I hate to go all Glen Beck panic-mode on you, but you read that right: Doomed! When we don’t even know what’s male or female anymore then there is nothing we do know. Nothing.

Regardless of what slanted “science” may say, we’re not doing any favors to those who suffer, or anyone else, when we refuse to embrace moral and absolute truth. They won’t tell you about the tragic heightened chances of depressions and suicide that accompany gender reassignment surgery. None of that matters to PC police. Only your right to self-identify.

I’m not a doctor but I don’t have to be to know the answer here. Your sexuality doesn’t define you, period. If you’re male, you’re male. If you’re female, you’re female. If you’re black you’re black and if you’re white, you’re white. How you “identify” doesn’t change reality. Trust me. I identify as a best-selling author and owner of several successful businesses now relaxing in his beachside cabana in Belize. Yet, here I sit in my home, in Texas, working on another blog.

I’m not at all suggesting that any “transgender” person should be treated as less than anyone else. I’m not saying they aren’t people with feelings worthy of being loved. They absolutely are. However, love is not lying to people and it’s certainly not allowing them to pick and choose rules and standards as they see fit.

When it comes to who uses what restroom, the answer couldn’t be any clearer or simple. If we’re in a parallel universe that doesn’t’ grasp this, next thing you know, Donald Trump will be leading candidate for the GOP nomination. Wait…

The only exception to this we should be willing to offer a temporary accommodation for would be females who identify as male and would like to make a run at using the urinals. Good luck, girls.

Masculism: Man Up!

My fellow men, it’s time. It’s time we do what we have to do to gain equal standing in this world. It’s time we stare adversity and opposition in its evil man-hating eyes and openly rebuke the feminization of men worldwide.

Many social breakthroughs begin with a movement of the people. Civil rights, women’s rights, anti-war and so on. Yes, there have been misguided movements as well, and many of those can be lumped together and referred to as the Bowel Movements, but let’s move on.

I’m here to introduce Masculism. Those of us who are tired of our manly rights being trampled, shamed and underappreciated won’t take it anymore. From here on out we’ll be referred to as Masculinists. We will no longer be ashamed of being masculine. We’ll no longer be neutered by society and overbearing female influence in our lives. There will be no gender identity issues here!

Since all movements need a platform, allow me to offer the following:

• Hair growth will be championed once again, as a source of pride and masculinity. Hairy men should have no shame. No more anxiety when we clog the shower drain. No more guilt over neglecting to shave. We’re men, by God! Even those of us who can grow a nice beard with manly hair everywhere except the space between our bottom lip and chin. No more, Amish/Mennonite beard shaming! Manly hair is just plain manly.

• Manly clothing will be a source of pride. We will no longer submit to the feminization of clothing by allowing our fellow men to be shamed, tricked and brainwashed into wearing women’s pants, commonly referred to as skinny jeans. Furthermore, unless you live in the northeastern United States, every man will have at least one pair of boots in his closet. We will not wear skin-tight leotards, man purses, scarves or neckerchiefs. Feminine clothing ends now!

• Bathing will be optional at the discretion of the individual man, and not subject to the whining, complaining, or scrutiny of spouses, co-workers or friends. Men smell like men and we’ll be proud. Stop using the cute body wash your wife strategically placed in the shower. It’s all a conspiracy men. A plan to make us all smell like giggly girls on Friday night, in order to pacify the sensitive nasal proclivities of women. We’re men, and men should smell like men and be proud! Don’t worry about the less frequent family visits, the lack of intimacy from your partner, or the avoidance of your children. When this movement is established they will have no choice but to conform to our putrid manly world!

• Bodily functions will not be denied in order to pacify our sissy culture of mamby-pamby women and lady-men. You’re a man. When you chug a root beer, IPA or other manly drink with carbonation, you belch like a man and be proud. Slam that drink down and proclaim you’ll have another and see if you can bump that burp-o-meter up a notch. Men are meant to be crude and we will no longer allow the reproach of women to deny us the enjoyment of ripping one wherever we please. Eat those beans, men! Be proud of the ability to pee standing up! We have work to do.

Wake up men! Stop living the lie they want you to live. We’re not puppets. If feminists have a right to hairy legs and underarms then we’ll crush them at their own game. If they want to burn a bra, we’ll go them one better and hold a jock-strap burning rally. We will NOT be denied.

You know what to do. Light a grill, find a real man sport on television, invite your ripe-smelling buddies over, scratch, burp, grunt and be men. Be proud men! We’re not gonna take it, men! Wait, wasn’t that band called Twisted Sister and they all dressed like women? Scratch that (pun intended). Find some Johnny Cash, Waylon or other manly artist and turn it up.

Masculism is here. Get ready.