10 Steps to Not Suck at Being a Woman (From a Man’s Point of View)

Welcome back. In my last blog I covered 12 simple steps that would help men not suck at being men. It was far and away my most popular blog to date. So, I guess we can take a couple lessons from that. One, people love reading blogs that directly confront the failure of men in modern society. Two, given women were the majority of feedback and commentary, women are tired of men who suck at being men.

In the spirit of fairness, I have decided to tackle some similar simple truths for the fairer sex. Yep, I’m going there. We’re going to discuss some steps that can help women not suck at being a woman.

Even though it’s obvious men today do in fact need to step up and be real men, a quick glance around your local high school, shopping mall, social media or darn near anywhere for that matter and it’s pretty clear that women today also need to learn how to be real women. The traditional term for this would be a “lady”.

Real women are the backbone of any society. They are the mothers, grandmothers, aunts and other forms of strong women that shape who many of us are. They raise kids and oftentimes husbands, while also tending to things like being the brain-trust of the household. Food and other necessary provision, basic cleanliness and reminders for everything are just a few of these tasks. Real women simply get things done.

I’ll offer a disclaimer here: It is obvious that the following thoughts are from a man’s point of view. So, once again, save me the woman power, bra-burning wrath often accompanying a man’s thought on anything regarding women. I don’t want to “talk about this” or offer twenty guesses on what’s wrong with you, when it was the first guess and you just didn’t want to admit it. Don’t send the feminazis to my door. I covered this already. I have a traditionalist, Christian worldview, so if we’re already at odds then either quit reading and go start your own blog, or prepare to be angry.

Without further ado, here are my very own 10 Steps to Not Suck at Being a Woman (From a Man’s Point of View):

• If you sleep with any man, be prepared to have his baby. Furthermore, should you have his baby, then be prepared to honor him as your child’s father. No, really. I just said both of those things. Yes, in our warped society it is perfectly acceptable for a woman to haul a man into court seeking child support yet that same man has absolutely no right or say in whether or not said woman even keeps the life or murders the baby. Go figure. Ladies I know that Cosmo, MTV, Lifetime and everything else from the music industry and Hollywood tells you sex is good, cool and yours to have at your leisure. Don’t buy the lie. Never think he’s worth it because if he is, he’ll wait. It may be good, it may be enjoyable but it most certainly carries emotional consequences no one wants to discuss. It’s meant for marriage and you’ll either learn that the hard way or be one of the fortunate few who experiences it the way we’re all meant to. He won’t love you more, you won’t be cooler and you won’t get your own show on MTV. In terms of respecting the man as your child’s father, this isn’t for your own good, it’s for your child’s. You may be the best single mom the planet has ever seen but the fact of the matter is the issues caused by fatherless children are crippling our society. As good as you may be, you can’t, nor should you, replace the role of a father.
• Work ethic. It matters. Don’t be lazy. Real women are the ultimate multi-taskers. They can change diapers, clean messes, prepare breakfast, pack a lunch and make a pot of coffee all before the day has even started. After that they may very well work a job and come home to more of the same and never bat an eye. All of that isn’t what it takes to not be lazy, but equally as worthless as lazy men who don’t provide are lazy women who don’t appreciate, provide, support or anything along those lines.
• Use your softer side to make the world better. Yes, the world actually needs women with woman-like characteristics. Compassion, sensitivity and an overall heart for the weak, hurting and troubled. When most kids cry, they want their mother. When most men shed a tear, the only person who sees it is their wife. Many corporations have powerful HR personnel who are women. Coincidence? I think not. Women are nurturers by nature and what’s more, the world needs that. Quite frankly, real men are better when they have real women in their lives to provide these very things. Also, let’s make note that softer doesn’t mean weaker.
• Don’t be so desperate. It’s disgusting to other women and either sad or an advertisement to men, depending on the type of man we’re talking about (see my previous blog). Stop with the cleavage-filled bathroom mirror selfie that may even include the “accidental” mirror reflection of you in your underwear. Have some self-respect and dignity. Your self-worth is much more than how many likes or comments you garner from testosterone driven, slovenly, leg-hound, skirt-chasing, man-bot boys in men’s bodies. Trust me, if he comments and tells you how hot you are, he’s a member of the Frequent Pathetic-Desperate Man Comment Club. Your poor selfie, along with all your body parts hanging out in the desperate clamor for validation scream of a father who wasn’t there and obviously didn’t teach you how women should be treated by men. It’s also a giant bulls-eye for shallow men who like to bed-hop and dabble in relationship, primarily for a sexual partner, in order to validate their own feelings of insecurity and low self-worth.
• Respect men who are worth respecting. No decent man refers to women as “bitches”, “Ho’s” or anything else along those lines. I don’t care that he’s an aspiring rapper, it’s not acceptable. Never allow men to refer to you or women in general as objects. You deserve and should demand better from any man in your life. Rap and pop culture may tell you it’s okay to sing or rap about women in this manner and then to carry on in normal life like it’s no big thing, but that’s crap. Real men will think and treat all women like they’d want their sister, mother, wife or daughter to be treated.
• Dress for success and for all the right reasons. Nothing sounds the trumpet of woman-hood like a woman who is dressed to the nines and actually looks like she put time and care into her appearance. In a world of yoga pants and oversize t-shirts it’s refreshing when you see those now rare women who always make sure they’re dressed and made-up like it matters. It does. On the flip side, don’t be part of the problem of women who feel that being a woman in an oversexed man’s world gives them a pass to dress like they may have just finished their shift at the strip club. Leave something to the imagination. You may crave the attention but all the things that attention says will often serve as a giant flashing caution sign to any real men who may be interested or as a blue light special to the many pigs out there.
• Honesty really is the best policy. Yes, even today. Among men and women, people respect those they can trust. Men need the woman in their life to be honest. Be it from their wife, daughter or a sister, men need to know that they can expect and rely on honesty from one of the most important figures in their life. Be a woman of integrity.
• Don’t chase the stereotype any longer. Real women aren’t all size 0. They come in many shapes and sizes, heights, colors and other beautiful variations. Quit buying into that People Magazine and E! TV image. This whole world we live in where Kate Upton is somehow plus size is fictitious, stupid, shallow and unrealistic. You are far more than your appearance so accept this and act like it. No matter how beautiful you are or aren’t right now, all beauty will fade and a couple years into a real relationship you’ll be far past the point where the substance is found in physical appearance.
• Don’t be “that” girl. You know, Mrs. Drama Queen. Don’t give women everywhere a bad reputation with your desperate need to be the center of attention. You may have been your Daddy’s little princess (or perhaps the problem is that you weren’t) but out here in the real world women earn respect with substance and integrity. Don’t be the career woman who carries the attitude and swagger of “I can do anything any man can do” but then uses things like her body and sexuality to advance. If you want to be on equal footing, then accomplish things with equal and respectable tools. Namely, your intelligence and business acumen. Don’t be the woman that is conveniently the center of the inevitable storm that follows her everywhere. You’re an adult, act like it. Life, men and other women don’t revolve around you.
• Pat yourself on the back if you’ve already accomplished or identify with most of the points above. You rock and you are the essence of woman. The simple fact of the matter is women are just awesome. While it’s rare to hear of a single father, single mothers in this day and age are the norm. You rarely hear of a grandfather being tasked with raising their children’s kids but you hear of grandmothers doing it regularly. So while the pain of childbirth may well have been a curse, the benefits, traits and skillset required to accomplish it are quite the gift. The old saying is that behind every man is an even better woman and from personal experience I know this to be true. Where would any man be without his better half?

Trust me when I tell you that it doesn’t escape this novice blogger that women actually have less steps to not suck as a person than men. They simply don’t have as far to go and seem to be better equipped from the get-go. So, to all the strong women who have and continue to help me be the man I am today, thank you. Now, you can defend me from the fanatical liberal and frenzied accusations of my male-chauvinism and sexism that will surely arise if this falls under the wrong eyes!