Freedom: For Us or From Ourselves?

Where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. How powerful is that? Apparently so powerful that most of us cannot grasp it. The other end of this spectrum seems to be that where the spirit of religion or differing viewpoints is, there is condemnation.

We as Americans love to tout living in a free country. We tie so much of our national and cultural identity into this “freedom.” Yet, we still draw lines in the sand over politics, religion, race and a host of other things.  As Christians, we talk about people being “set free” and there being freedom in Christ, yet so many times we won’t express this freedom without a follow-up on how this new freedom should look or act.

What if we lived and conducted ourselves like we really believed in freedom? How would that look? What if we all really believed that as long as another’s actions didn’t cause direct harm to another individual, then they are free to do as they choose? What if we weren’t so threatened by another’s viewpoint, opinions, or expressions?

The Israelites witnessed God reign down plagues on Egypt. They saw God part the Red Sea on their behalf. They saw him provide miraculous meals in the desert. Yet, as soon as they entered the promised land they couldn’t help but beg for a king. Why? Did God not tell them he wanted to be their king? How is this not enough?

That same question is relevant for all of us today. Both as a nation and in the Christian church. Why do we continue to expect the answer for our country to come from the next politician, yet we continue to re-elect all of the same people we’re supposedly disgusted with?

What if the bigger problem is us?  What if we’re turning our politicians, pastors, beliefs, ideals and even our nation into our God?

What if the secret to being free isn’t about others oppressing us at all? What if it’s really about being free from ourselves? Free to be connected with our Creator. Free to be who He made us to be?

It’s so hard to believe God. So hard to take Him at His word. What about the problems in my marriage? The sickness of a family member? The betrayal of a friend? My own inability to break a bad habit or behavior. Does this mean God isn’t faithful?

My pastor, who is also a friend, recently delivered a message to our church about grace. Not the standard grace message, rather one with depth, conviction and what certainly seemed to be an anointing of the presence of God. The whole message dealt with what the sacrifice of Jesus Christ meant to each one of us on a personal level. The real power behind it. The truth is, grace is power. I invite you to listen to the message here: Pathway Longview message from Pastor Marty Strait

I listened to the message twice as my family and I attended the Saturday service and I ushered for our eleven o’clock Sunday service. What I observed from my seat in the back of the room on Sunday was so telling. Had the message been a rousing Bible-thumping attack against specific sins (especially those that opposed the majority of our congregation) then I doubt you’d have been able to quell the “amen”, “hallelujah”, and various other declarations of agreement and support. On the other hand, had the message been full of pie-in-the-sky Hippie Jesus, all is cool, awesome and God wants to reign blessing down on you right now and make you a comfortable millionaire then I imagine an equally warm reception. Probably even some misty-eyed nods of agreement.

However, when you start telling people the God-truth of the sacrifice of His son Jesus, and what that means to each us: That we can trust Him. That we can believe Him. That He really can handle each and every situation. Well, that just makes people squirm. Our minds go to all the times we’ve had an unanswered prayer. The times when we lost someone too soon. The times that someone else’s poor behavior and choices wreaked havoc in our lives. Believing and trusting in Jesus is hard. Does this mean that the problem is God?

As our pastor commonly reminds us, many churches choose to create a new theology or excuse for why things didn’t happen the way we believe they should. A way to excuse us from believing for healing and other miracles. Believing God and taking Him at His word are hard, even for the church. Maybe at times, even more so for much of the Church.

Should we have all the answers? Would that be faith? Would that be believing? Is that trust? If we did have all the answers, wouldn’t that essentially make us God? Oh, there it is. Most of us continue to try to be our own God. Not intentionally. The enemy is good. Really good. Read your Bible. He’s conned the best of the best who saw the best of what God had to offer and still allowed themselves to be persuaded into not trusting God. Like a lion looking to steal, kill and destroy.

Take heart. No matter how much destruction that enemy causes in your life, you’re still no further from God. Why? Because your standing with God has nothing to do with you or what you’ve done and everything to do with Christ and what He’s done.

What if we start believing Him?

What if we as Americans and even more so we as Christians stop being so thin-skinned and insecure to the point of alienating those inside or even outside our ranks who may see things or even behave differently that we do? I’m not asking anyone to accept nor ignore sin, but I am saying the blood and grace of Jesus Christ is the only way it will ever be defeated and made right. The same grace that saved you is available to each and every person.

It’s time to stop being THAT Christian. The church hopper. The take-my-toys-and-go-home Christian. The overall offended Christian. The you’re going to Hell for that Christian. The God is mad at you Christian. If you continue to find yourself offended, the problem probably isn’t everyone else. I think it’s safe to say your mirror has a clear picture of the problem.

It’s time to stop being THAT American. The get out of my country American. The enlightened American that sits on a condemning high horse of who believes the Constitution the most. The American who is more concerned with who respects our flag the most above how much we love one another. Stop putting your patriotism above your willingness to follow Christ.

To be clear, I’m not saying I myself don’t have strong opinions about these and many other issues. I very much do, but they’re opinions. I’ve come too far and been too forgiven to hold onto a my-way-or-the-highway approach to those I’m trying to connect with and reach.

Just trust Him. For everything, in everything. When it hurts and when it’s pleasant. In lack and in abundance. In sickness and in health. Don’t accept the lies, the hurt, the sickness, the brokenness. Trust His word and His promises. Wake up every morning knowing God isn’t mad at you. He’s good. He’s faithful. He loves you. Nothing that happens catches Him by surprise, adjusts His mood, or causes Him to panic. Let’s press in more and more until we’re like that, too.

We should all thank be very thankful that while others see us from the outside, Jesus sees us from the inside. Where it matters most. It’s how He works, from the inside out. So while you, me, or anyone else may stand in judgement or condemnation over outward behavior, only one truly knows and justly judges. Thank God for that, because we always know where we stand when we put our faith in His sacrifice: Holy, righteous and redeemed.

Is that an excuse for sin or a justification for poor behavior? In the words of the Apostle Paul, “God forbid.” It’s simply meant to level the playing field. Just believe and trust in His word. It works if you’ll let it.

The Truth About Santa! (PG-13)

This whole Christmas thing is out of control. You want to know what my dad and his brothers woke up to on Christmas morning? Of course you do, you’re still reading. They woke up to a new pair of blue jeans, plastic six-shooters, and a piece of fruit. This was the usual for most of his childhood Christmas mornings. DHR would probably take your children away if you did this now.

 

You know who’s responsible for this? Jolly Old Saint Nicholas. Yep, the jolly (kidspeak for alcoholic) old fat man himself. You see, this all started in the mid-1900’s when Saint Nicholas, or “Santa” as we know him, decided to turn up the heat on consumerism and therefore solidify his place in our culture for decades to come. Santa is smart like that. During my father’s childhood, Santa catered to the values of “The Greatest Generation.” You know, the men who went off to fight wars and watch their brothers and comrades-in-arms die for the sake of their country. Santa knew that with this war-hardened generation, just recovering from the Great Depression, too many luxuries could spell his demise.

 

So, the corrupt and conniving owner of North Pole sweatshops played it safe. Have the elves grow some fruit, make some cheap toy cowboy pistols and sew denim. Then, gradually outsource Christmas and phase in a consumerist mindset. By the time deregulation began we were primed for Operation Consumer Christmas Overload, Phase I. Behind the scenes, the drug fueled, free-love culture of the 60’s and 70’s had taken its toll on the elf labor pool and set the stage for this secret plan. You see, elves were now needed for hallucinations, shopping malls and wrestling (yes, they used elves for midget wrestling). So, consumer-minded, profit greedy, slave-driver Santa, contracted his elves to other companies, in the name of higher margins. He then leaned heavily and directly on the toy companies to meet his gift-giving demands.

 

It seemed like a win-win for all. More toys, happier kids (at least on Christmas morning) and a greater appreciation for the overlooked elf populace and their talents. That is, until enough brains were fried, everyone learned love is in fact never free, nor is VD; and consequently, we were all left with a bunch of lazy liberals who really didn’t want to work too hard, rather, they chose to sit back, deny God, blame “the man” and promote socialist policies that benefit those with a lack of motivation. All this while mumbling peace, holding up two fingers and driving cars named after insects. Everything according to plan.

 

Now, what was Santa left to do? How was he possibly going to continue breaking and entering, sexually assaulting childrens’ mothers, that would then be glorified in songs sung by said children, while continuing to profit from his slave labor back in the North Pole sweatshop? Piece by piece.

 

You guessed it. More stuff. Not just that, but he also decided to play up his role in childhood development and behavior. He knows who’s “naughty and nice”. The creep even sees you when you’re sleeping. So kids, if you’re bad, Santa will bring you lumps of coal or bundles of switches. Problem solved. Kids are lured into falsely modified behavior in order to gain reward, with no regard for the moral principles that should in fact promote and bind them to said positive behaviors.

Elf on the Shelf? More of the same. Capitalist Santa at his best. Just another way to manipulate bratty, spoiled children into behaving so we don’t actually have to do any, you know, parenting that prevents these brats from becoming egotistical, narcissistic adults who raise an even worse generation and spend even less time actually parenting them.

 

You see what happens when you outsource Christmas? You see what happens when it’s all about an alcoholic, obese, peeping tom creeper who abuses reindeer (where’s Sara McLaughlin and her ASPCA commercial for that?) breaks into peoples’ homes, eats all their snacks, cops a feel of some kids mother (no wonder we have a single mother epidemic, bet he’s behind that too!) and drops off some Chinese toys, outsourced to the lowest bidder and marketed with millions of dollars, in order to create this Christmas demand frenzy?

 

Wake up people. Santa sucks! Enjoy your families. Enjoy good food. Enjoy your friends. Most importantly, celebrate the reason for the season, Jesus. I’m not sure if Jesus ever met Santa, as, by most estimates, they missed each other by about 500 years. But I wish he would have. I really believe, if Santa had been given the same revelation as the apostle Paul, all of this could have been avoided.

 

Lastly, I need to be transparent. Although Santa never once visited me as a child, I hold no ill-will. I’m not bitter. No big deal, Santa. Yes, I may have snuck out of my bed on Christmas Eve and made sure the door was unlocked, since we had no chimney. Just in case. I mean, I didn’t want to be the kind of person Santa proved to be. A liar! I was good (rarely, but I know worse kids that did get presents) and I believed, and you never came!

 

Whew. Now that I got that out… I forgive you dad. I’m sorry that Santa’s gifts of fruit and denim left you with a gaping hole of unbelief. Although your reasons for no Santa certainly had merit. It is true that Jesus’ birth date is never mentioned in the Bible. It also makes sense that if God had wanted us to know, he’d have told us. It’s even more rational to say, that if in fact we were going to celebrate Christmas, we’d specifically seek out the orphan and the widow because giving gifts to them is giving to Christ. I get the whole pagan holiday thing, now that I’ve researched it for myself. So, perhaps you were right.

 

But you know what happens to kids who know the truth about Santa from the beginning? They sit on your shoulders and excitedly and loudly proclaim, “See Dad! I told you he was real!” at the Disney Christmas parade while all the people around you stare at you like a pariah. It’s okay, stick to your guns man! I’ll just sneak up to my grandmothers and pocket some cash and years later, pen a passive-aggressive blog to lash out.

 

Santa, if you’re reading this, I forgive you too. Let’s make amends. You can begin making up for all the formative years of crushed spirits by bringing me a log cabin on a piece of land in the mountains with a crackling fire and a bear rug; or, if you’re into aviation, I’ll take a KingAir 350, because unlike you, I’m not self-absorbed enough to ask for something crazy like a G6. What’s that Santa? Sounds to you like an entitlement mentality? Well, it’s all your fault.

 

P.S.- Santa, please tell me there is no glitter in the North Pole?

 

P.P.S – I noticed your name shares the same letters as Satan. How you answer that last question will clarify which side you’re really on.

Call to Action: J-STAR Ministries Needs Us

I’d like to do something different. Although I’m sure I could have offered up another opinion piece on social or political issues, I want to beseech you to take action. I’d like to tell you about an organization and mission that needs our help. We need to step up, Longview. This year it has seemed that another week brings another shooting, another homicide, more gang violence. Where do we start? I’m glad you asked.

We need a concerted effort among churches, citizens, businesses and the government of Longview; collectively, we need to step up and make a difference. We need people to take onus and responsibility. We need to understand that if we do nothing more than lament and talk, we are, in fact, doing nothing at all.

There are organizations that already exist to make a difference in the lives of our youth. Organizations with a missional focus to reach and teach our young men and women to become productive citizens by overcoming adversity rather than succumbing to its pressures. Today I’d like to implore you to open your hearts, your minds and even your wallets to such an organization.

J-STAR Ministries (Johnson’s Success Through Attitude & Respect) was established in 2004 as a 501(c)3 non-profit youth organization. J-STAR prides itself in its missional focus to help today’s youth become tomorrow’s leaders. J-STAR works with students ranging in ages 6 to 18 years old, specifically with behavior issues. Students are accepted into the program through both parent and school referral, as well as court order. J-STAR also speaks at various area schools on the ABC’s of Life: Attitude, Behavior and Choices.

Once part of the program students are taught abstinence, anger management, citizenship, discipline, life skills, respect for authority and physical fitness. Students receive weekly visits to their respective schools to determine how they’re performing in terms of grades, attitude and respect for teachers and administration. On Saturdays, students meet at the J-STAR offices in the Pine Tree area of Longview in the Community Connections building to take part in various work from community action, physical fitness and even some leisure activities.

J-STAR can be found participating at local events and outreaches such as the Walk to End Alzheimers, The Alley Fest, Christmas parades, Western Days in Hallsville, Gusher Days in Gladewater, the Juneteenth Parade in Kilgore, volunteering at Truman W. Smith in Gladewater, Longview Dream Center, New Gate Mission, Highway 80 Rescue Mission, Coats for Kids Giveaways, J-STAR Ministries Youth Explosion and many others. Through these efforts, participants in the program learn to be thankful for the things in their life and to have compassion for those who struggle, while also accepting they are responsible for their own decisions.

I don’t need to rehash the statistics in order for us to all agree that Longview has a problem. Organizations like J-STAR embody how we make a difference: that is to reach one and teach one. We must step up in support of those who are gifted in this area. Patrick Johnson, founder of J-STAR, is one of those people.

Mr. Johnson has been married to his wife Shana for 15 years and they have six children. He spent nearly 10 years in the United States Air Force and is a disabled veteran. Mr. Johnson is also certified in anger management and is a behavior management specialist. He previously worked at the Kilgore crisis center as a volunteer coordinator and is a certified basic life coach working to rehabilitate abusive men.  He has counseled married couples in anger management and domestic violence situations. Mrs. Johnson is the head basketball coach at Harleton High School and also volunteers in J-STAR Ministries, focusing on working with young women in the program.

J-STAR administration and volunteers also include past participants in the program who have gone on to be accepted and attend LeTourneau University, UT Tyler and other post-secondary centers of education as well as being successfully and gainfully employed in various sectors. These former students are a testament to J-STAR and Mr. and Mrs. Johnson and their heart and gifting in working with troubled youth.

J-STAR needs your help, Longview. Funding has seen a steady decrease over this year and the program is in jeopardy. There are approximately 130 churches in the Longview area and businesses too numerous to number. Yes, many oil and gas related businesses are suffering, but any help gets J-STAR closer to the goal. Christians, I implore you to step up and fill the gap for a ministry that is heeding its call and accepting its responsibility to our community. People of Longview, I encourage you to reach out to discover how you can lend your time and/or talent to J-STAR. The harvest is plentiful but the workers truly are few. Let’s not allow yet another organization, beneficial to Longview and its youth, die on the vine.

J-STAR ministries can be found online at www.jstarministries.com or reached by phone at (903) 424-1757. Let’s all step up and do our part to insure that J-STAR continues to reach our youth and expand its mission for the betterment of our future. You never know, the next child reached because of your contribution may just be a life saved from the violence and gang culture so prevalent in the Longview area.

10 Steps to Not Suck at Being a Husband

I like to think I’ve now established myself as the leading authority when it comes to writing and speaking on steps to not suck at something. Many of you are familiar with my earlier works in the “Steps to Not Suck™” series and the exhaustive experience-based research I’ve spent my life pursuing, in order to offer those up for your reading pleasure.

It’s true that these experiences have not been easy for me or my family, but at this stage in life it seems to have all been worth it. I feel confident saying that few people have been as effective at sucking as a man, husband, or father as I have at times. Experience either makes us better or drowns us in misery, and the choice is ours. I personally not only enjoy this life, but know I have a purpose in it, so I’ve chosen to live, learn, and swim.

I choose to look at it this way: I’m alive, the kids are alive, and my wife chose me too. God is good!

I say all of this in jest, my friends, as my sense of self-worth is not nearly so low. Although at times, it quite possibly should have been. There are worse and there are better husbands and men out there, but I’ve learned my lessons the hard way and certainly try and improve day by day.

Today we’re going to discuss a topic that I should have received an honorary PhD in by now. I’m going to share with you, based on my own experience, 10 Steps to Not Suck at Being a Husband.

So without further ado, I’ve compiled a list that most men couldn’t have possibly failed at as much or worse than I. If you have, please seek counseling and share your story so I’ll feel better. I kid. I only want to be clear that these steps come from the heart and not from a holier-than-though, I-have-it-all-together, perspective.

• Love God

This one seems cliché, huh? Right out of the gate, I went all religious on you. I sure did and with good reasons: one, God created and defined marriage; two, if a relationship with Jesus Christ isn’t your priority, then it will be impossible to ever fully understand the marriage design and experience all it was created to be. This gets pretty deep and I can’t get off topic, so I encourage you to check out the message in the “Can You Handle the Truth?” series by Pastor Marty Strait of Pathway, titled “The Truth About Marriage” to get a full picture of design and purpose of marriage.

www.pathwaylongview.com/media/recent-messages

Simply put, when God is first, good things happen in the other areas of your life. Chief among them being your marriage.

• Put Your Wife First

This one is pretty simple, but sometimes so hard. We’re human. We’re men. Most of us are pretty good at being selfish and going after what we want. This whole marriage thing really puts a damper on that. However, God calls us to love our wives as Christ loved the church. Read Ephesians 5:22-27. As men, it can be tempting to focus on the first part of the scripture that instructs your wife to submit to you, but the part that will strengthen your marriage is obeying the command God gives to you as her husband. Your wife doesn’t come second to your mother, your best friend, your kids, or anyone else. Getting this wrong sells us short on the marriage we could and should have.

Your wife is to be cherished above all else. Her value to you should be second to none and she should know that. You should demonstrate it. Make her feel it. This is hard for us as men, because it requires us to be vulnerable and to willingly give someone the power to hurt us. Welcome to marriage. You’re all in or you’re pretending.

Work at this every day. It’s that important.

• Have Good Friends

Man, oh man. I could write a book about this one. Bad company corrupts good character (1 Corinthians 15:33). To be the husband you were created to be, and that your wife and kids needs you to be, you simply cannot afford to screw this one up. If you hang out with the types of men who turn blind eyes to or participate in adultery, abuse, or who refuse to speak difficult truth to you in the hard times, get new friends and get them yesterday. No friends are better than bad friends.

We absolutely must develop friendships with men who share our principles, convictions and the behaviors that embody what solid husbands look like. It’s not okay to place your friends above your wife, and real friends who are real men would never put you in a position to do that.

You need friends willing to tell you that what you’re clicking on at work or late at night is wrong. You need friends that refuse to tell you the answer is divorce. You need friends who don’t play into the “grass is greener” crap, just because it’s easier and it’s what you want to hear. Men should speak direct words of truth to each other and they’re not always easy to hear or easy to say.

Hanging out with and turning a blind eye to those who cheat, beat, revel in addiction and do everything in their power besides being a husband is the equivalent of condoning it. You’re becoming part of the problem and you’re disrespecting your own wife and family in the process.

• Encourage Her

She’s your wife, your partner, and hopefully your best friend. It is absolutely essential to your relationship that you continue your pursuit of her and her passions. Remember, we discussed the whole selfishness bit. Your wife has talents, ability, and dreams just like you. As her husband, you need to encourage these. Be careful to encourage her dreams and not your interpretation of her dreams.

I know this one well, as I’m blessed to be married to a beautiful wife who has more drive and ability in one little finger than I possess in my entire body. Her intelligence and business acumen are incredible.

People need to love what they do, and your wife is no different. I’m not saying she may not work a job to contribute just as you do, but I am telling you to support and encourage her in pursuit of the things she loves and has a talent for.

Oftentimes as men, we look to ourselves as the head of the household, provider, and protector and neglect the fact that our wife may very well have her own career goals, ambitions and dreams that she would like to accomplish. Whether it’s President of the Homemaking division at your house or CEO of a company, support and encourage her. It’s part of your responsibility as her husband.

I want to end this one by saying that in order to have good friends, you also need to be a good friend. A good friend can speak truth to a difficult issue and refuse to condone it, while also avoiding condemnation. We’re not perfect, nor should we expect others to be, but we should always encourage each other to be better.

• Be the Head of the Household

This probably doesn’t mean what you think it does. This isn’t a license to tell your woman how it is. It doesn’t mean you can come home, plop down in the recliner and demand your beer. It’s far less glamorous and requires far more responsibility.

Being the head of the household requires you to be serious about the spiritual health of your wife and children, as well as anyone else in your home. You should pray for them, pray with them, and work to insure they have everything in your power to pursue their God-given dreams. This doesn’t mean doing it for them. It means supporting and empowering them.

Being the head of the household is about responsibility. Men are called to be the provider and protector of those in their home. This goes far deeper than just the physical realm, which is why we often have such a hard time understanding this and in getting it right.

• Guard Your Heart

In today’s world, this one is vital to your health and well-being as both a husband and a man. Just because something is popular or widely accepted doesn’t make it good for you. Just because you aren’t the only person doing it, doesn’t make it okay. As a husband, you are created to embody strength and self-control. Lead by example.

Unfortunately, men aren’t known for their will power and society eats our lunch because of it. Fifty percent of men in the church are said to be immersed in pornography. Roughly fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. According to a 2004 University of Chicago study, twenty-five percent of men have had an affair.

Let’s be real with each other here, men. Stop the porn. Stop it. It’s destroying your life, your marriage, and your view of women. Would you want your wife, daughter, or mother to be in those images? If you answer yes, seek extreme counseling. If you say no, like most sane people, then don’t be part of the problem.

This issue goes deeper than the images on your computer, phone and television and extends to where you allow your eyes to wander. We can be honest with each other here. We’re men. We like to look at beautiful women; however, there is a difference in acknowledging a woman’s beauty and crossing that thin line to lusting, even in a glance. It would behoove you to know that line, be honest with yourself, and learn to turn your eyes.

Nothing will be easy about this, but rarely is anything worth doing easy. The better you become at guarding your heart through what your eyes take in, your mind processes and what you justify, the better you, your wife, your daughters, and your sons will be.

This same approach should be taken when it comes to workplace friendships, professional relationships, and relationships with the opposite sex in general. If it’s not a conversation or interaction you’d carry on with your spouse present, then it’s wrong. You know it. You don’t need me telling you. So, stop it!

You need safeguards built in every facet of your life and friends who hold you accountable in these. The effort you put in here will pay dividends for your marriage and spiritual health.

To speak further to the elephant in the room known as pornography, let’s be clear: It is adultery. It’s also just as serious an addiction as drugs and alcohol. Ignoring this won’t change the truth of it. We attach so much shame to our issues that many of us won’t bring this to light, even with those we trust. If you struggle, you need to find a safe and trusted friend to confide in. You also need professional help if you are unable to abstain from viewing pornography.

Considering the road I’ve traveled, I’m a blessed man to not struggle in this area. I’d be remiss if I didn’t credit my relationship with and identity in Christ. When I view my choices through that lens, it makes it difficult for me to entertain material of that nature knowing it objectifies His children as well as cheapening and corrupting a beautiful act He created for a much more valuable expression.

This issue is defeated in the heart and mind and not the physical realm. The enemy has defeated and derailed many a great man with this weapon. Don’t be one of them.

• Admit When You’re Wrong

I’m terrible at this. Granted, I’ve had very little opportunity to practice. On the rare occasion that I am mistaken or slightly inaccurate on something, I have a mild tendency to forego admitting it. I could place all blame squarely on a lack of practice, but truth be told it’s just tough for some of us men to do. The downside here is that marriages rarely flourish prior to grasping this principle.

A real man learns to accept responsibility and accountability. Part of this is admitting when we’re in the wrong, sometimes even when we refuse to believe we’re at fault. Sometimes we can be right and still be wrong.

• Talk About Money Often

This one hurts already. No one wants to talk about money or the seeming lack thereof. I’m a firm believer in Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University and one of the biggest benefits of this course is the level of communication it encourages with your spouse. So many marriages are wrecked over money that you’d think we’d spend more time here, but we don’t. Get this right early on and your marriage will be better because of it. It will make you a better husband and a better man.

It’s true what they say, either you control your money or your money controls you. I’ve learned this the hard way.

• Forgive

Any healthy marriage will teach both parties the art of forgiveness. It’s an absolute must if the relationship is to endure. Extend grace to your wife when she lets you down because she’ll need grace to deal with you and your transgressions. We’re broken people, all of us. Two broken people trying to find unity in a broken world is so hard to do. Society tells us to hire a lawyer, split everything you already couldn’t afford in half, rip your kids apart and cause problems for them they will deal with indefinitely, divide the friends up, find new love, and the grass is greener on the other side where you’re bound to find real “happiness.” Good luck with that.

• Never Ever Quit

Let me preface this one by saying that if you’re in an abusive relationship (yes, it can happen to men too) or one where marital infidelity is an issue, you should seek professional help and counseling. However, outside of these issues, I can’t advise much other than buckling down and committing to the fight of a life time, both figuratively and literally, in order to see your marriage through thick and thin.

We’re all too easy to quit these days. We justify it in wanting to be “happy” and so on and so forth. Happiness is a state of mind, a decision. It isn’t captured through possessions, nor partners.

The new will wear off. You will get on your spouse’s nerves and she will get on yours. You will probably walk through seasons where you don’t feel in love anymore and may very well not be. There will be times when it seems easier to throw in the towel. These are the times where your commitment and resolve to your vows must reign supreme over every single desire you have for anything and everything that is in opposition to your relationship with your heavenly father. You may as well prepare for and guard against this prior to it happening.

The grass is greener where we water it. Invest that time spent in fantasy land toward your marriage. Invest the time you spend griping, complaining, and assigning blame toward being a better husband. Even if you’re in a season where none of this is being reciprocated, hang in there. You do your part and the rest is out of your control.

This won’t cure all your marriage ills, but it will certainly reduce the likelihood of divorce and negative impact. Take it from someone who hasn’t been particularly good at many of these, that when you start to adapt and embody these points of focus, good things will happen in your marriage.

I’d also like to encourage you to hold onto hope. The fact is, it’s our commitment to God’s design for our lives and marriage that holds us together, even when one, or both, of us aren’t being particularly easy to love.

There are already a world full of so-called men who suck at being husbands. They bounce from woman to woman blaming the latest one for the latest failed relationship. They never consider the kids, nor their broken vows as they lament the crazy ex-wife. It’s hard to look in a mirror and acknowledge our part in a broken marriage and family, but I encourage you to learn to do this before it’s too late and you’re living with it. I know too many men who figured out that the perfect life they thought they’d have when free from their commitment and their marriage was a complete lie. Many are too proud to admit it after the fact, but know this all too well.

My last note is to those who are still dealing with the failure of a broken home, marriage or family. Don’t give up. You can still be the husband you were meant to be. It’s not too late. You’ll be better for it, and so will your current or future marriage.

Reactions On the Resource Officer and High School Student In SC

I’m not sure what it is about our society that leads us to always feel the need to take a definitive stand on every single issue. It’s quite possible, and often true, that in conflict both sides can be at fault. Yes, one side can be more responsible, but that shouldn’t keep us from being open and honest about the fault of the party we align with either. Things are seldom black and white (no pun intended).

In my opinion, the recent episode involving the young female high school student in South Carolina and the male deputy and school resource offer is a perfect example of this. Everyone seems grouped into two sides: 1) Total support of the officer and complete blame for the student or 2) Total support of the student and complete blame for the officer.

Based on the information available many things seem clear. First and foremost the young lady should have complied with the directive of authority. She was instructed many times by both teacher and officer and refused to comply. A good result cannot be expected after a display of such defiance.

With that said, this officer was out of line. His aggression far exceeded both necessity and the situation.

In today’s climate of racial tension, hostility, and overall disdain for law enforcement why on earth would you choose a tact of aggression toward a young black female in a non-violent confrontation? As a white male, you couldn’t pay me enough to put my hands on a young female, much less of the opposite race, unless there was absolutely zero alternative and all other options were exhausted. To expect this to end well is poor judgement on the officer’s part. Not to mention his seemingly troubled history of aggression.

I hate that law enforcement finds itself in this predicament. I lament the fact that they don’t receive the respect nor appreciation they should; however, they are trained professionals and they have a higher responsibility than the average citizen, both in terms of respect and in effort to diffuse, especially in non life-threatening scenarios.

Slamming a young female to the floor with that much force could not have been the best option no matter how wrong or defiant she was. If these are the kinds of decisions and choices public school officials and resource officers are making, perhaps home school and private school are now much more attractive choices.

I believe in discipline. I believe in kids respecting authority and doing as they’re told, but I also believe in adults exercising wisdom, restraint, and common sense. I will say in fairness that had I been this child my father may very well have made this officer seem mild-mannered. However, not every child receives this type of upbringing.

It seems this young lady is a lonely product of the foster care system. An orphan. I believe we should all be able to extend grace to someone who befits the focus of the heart of Christ. The orphan and widow. You cannot hold this child to the same standard of those who were blessed to have parents who cared and instilled values. Does it make her actions right? No. But it does shed light and perspective as to why a militant approach should have been even less desirable.

This officer’s actions have now rendered him unemployed and open to possible litigation. He’s been smeared all over the media. I have no doubt he’d handle this differently if given another chance, and rightly so.

This young lady’s actions led to a situation that diffused and went poorly for all involved. Hopefully she also learns from this. Not to be a victim, but to make better choices that reduce the likelihood of situations like this in her future.

In this case two wrongs made an unfortunate situation even worse.

Dear Young Men

Dear Young Men,

I struggle with how to say this. I’m trying to walk the line between sharing some wisdom gained the hard way and coming across as out of touch with your world. I don’t for one minute want to sound preachy. I want you to understand that I’m sharing my heart for you for two reasons: one, I failed miserably at so much of this and now understand what getting this right would have meant for my life; two, I know the Father’s heart for you. Having traversed my teens and early twenties, I now understand all those things God told us not to do, as well as those he told us to do, are for our own good. They’re to help us avoid unnecessary pain and failure.

As I look around our world, I see men failing so miserably every single day. Even worse is they’re accepting it, justifying it, and unknowingly passing it on. The nuclear family in our country is becoming a thing of the past and its demise is eroding the very fabric of our society. So much of it stems from us as men, and our roles in society.

We have to wake up. We have to be better friends, brothers, uncles, fathers, sons, bosses, husbands and better leaders. We have to understand the weight of our responsibility and carry it with honor. We have to do our part.

So much of our failure stems from one particular topic that I want to address to you here. Sex. It’s everywhere, and as men, we like it. We’re visual and physical by nature and that exposes us to so many traps: from pornography to promiscuity, it’s a Pandora’s Box of pleasure leading to heartbreak.

Many of us learn early on to use our skills of persuasion as we desire to gain access to young ladies and their bodies. We sharpen our silver tongues and put on our best “good guy” persona as it suits our end goal. Some of us learn to play the rebel thing to perfection for the girls who unknowingly are trying to fill a void. We basically learn to be con-artists taking advantage of the most precious and valuable creation God placed on this earth: women.

Sometimes, the tables are turned in this and women learn to use the power of their bodies to lead us to do things we know we shouldn’t. It’s our weakness and either alternative has serious consequences when used out of its designed intention.

Young men, you’re being duped. The world is lying to you. After you buy into the lie, you’re being abandoned to wake up in a pool of your own vomit with a thumping headache, asking, “Why me?” Stop playing the game. Stop buying the lies.

All around you, you’re hearing campaigns about stopping date rape and sexual assault. You’re being handed advice that ranges from “use protection” to “make sure she consents.” It’s a lot to take in. The campaign for “No Means No” has been extended to include, “Just because I don’t say no, doesn’t mean I said yes.” Is your head spinning yet?

It certainly doesn’t seem fair to have the responsibility placed directly on the male for a sexual encounter, does it? Logic would lead you to conclude that not hearing “no” in the heat of the moment most certainly means yes, right? Perilous times to be a guy, huh?

One minute, you’re at a college (high school in some cases) party living it up when a beautiful co-ed catches your eye. She’s obviously into you and she’s coming on strong. You’ve both been drinking, although, not to what you’d consider excess. One thing leads to another and your “dream” girl is waking up awkwardly beside you. One week later, you receive a knock on your door from two uniformed gentlemen who’d like to ask you a couple of questions. And just like that, one single night to leave you facing accusations of date-rape and a tarnished reputation. This is the world you now live in.

Might I suggest a radical theory? You are responsible. Not because it’s fair, but because you are a man. As a man, no matter what this world tells you, you are responsible for your own actions. Yes, she’s responsible for hers, but for the sake of your life and your manhood, we’re not discussing her responsibility. We’re going to focus on yours.

Every mischievous high-five, fist-bump and “atta boy” you receive for actions that range from: landing a hot girlfriend, sneaking that magazine or adult video, to sharing your sexual conquests, lead you one step closer to living a nightmare that you, and you alone, are responsible for.

Just like me, you know of fathers (you may even be one) who take the old “boys will be boys” approach to life. Your son scores with a “10” and you should be proud, right? Don’t nearly all men love a nice looking woman? Is it not our very nature to have a physical drive that leads to these attractions and the subsequent actions? It sure is. It is also your responsibility to grow and mature into someone who controls them.

Older, supposedly mature, men who are father figures or mentors are failing you, young men.

Our culture is to the point where naked women in Playboy is not exciting enough. With the inundation of explicit sexual content just one click away, the cornerstone of the entire objectification of women movement is now nearly PG-13, in contrast to the industry of pornography it pioneered. There are many traps out there, young men. You already know this. You’ve already seen it, and yet, no one seems to be talking to you about responsibility.

On behalf of fathers and men everywhere, I apologize. We’ve all played into these same lies and when we finally wake up and understand the truth of this all, we generally fail to turn around and warn you. This is my attempt to do just that.

That beautiful woman is not a conquest. She isn’t a challenge. She isn’t a trophy. She is a living, breathing being, created in the image of God, to one day do far greater things than be used for her body or her sexual performance. She is created to be a wife to a man who cherishes and exalts her above all other women. She is created to be the epitome of warmth, love, and protection for her children in their foundational years and beyond. Yes, she may also decide to kick serious butt in the professional realm, but her gifting far exceeds her career ambitions and is far greater than the pursuit of any man. She was and is created to be God’s own daughter and all that He created her to be.

Even if she lets you, you do not have the right to take that from her, because there is a strong likelihood that one day she’ll wish she’d waited for the right man. It may be true that if not you,  she will allow another man to make her a conquest. But that doesn’t absolve your responsibility to not be that man. We are solely discussing your responsibility here, not hers.

It’s time to grow up young man. It’s time to face the music. It’s time for you to understand who God created you to be. You’re a man. You’re a provider, a protector, a defender of the weak, the head of your household. Start training now. Self-control is a discipline that will take you so very far.

Every girl or young woman you encounter will grow to be so much more than her body, so start seeing them that way now. Control those hormones. Control those thoughts. Understand that your mother, grandmother, sister, and any other woman you know was once just a girl trying to make it in a world that has viewed them through a lens of their bodies and the pleasures they contain.

God created you for her and her for you, but He gave you guidelines. Not because He doesn’t want you to have fun, but because He understands that good things, uninhibited, can lead to the demise of those who cannot control themselves. He wants you to have more fun than you can imagine, which is why His word tries so hard to steer us clear of unnecessary hurt, risk and shame.

If you didn’t take her hand in marriage, then she’s not yours to sleep with. If you did not take a vow to love and cherish her till death do you part, then she’s not yours to sleep with. If she hasn’t committed to be by your side for better or worse, sickness and health, as well as accepting your commitment likewise, then she’s not yours to sleep with.

This world will tell you what you want to hear. Sin itself has its season. It’s fun to fit in. It’s fun to be cool. It’s nice to feel wanted. It’s nice to feel loved. As with most men, the conquest can boost your confidence. It can make you feel accomplished, handsome, and smooth. It can certainly be fun in the moment, but you, young man, you were created for so much more than to derive your sense of self-worth from this.

You can be sure that, in this day and age, if you’re man enough to go against the grain and resist what culture, television, music and worldly men tell you that you’re supposed to do, then you’re doing something right. You don’t want to figure this out after the worldly road has allowed you to steal the virtue of something that wasn’t intended for you. You don’t want to realize you’ve taken something that wasn’t yours. You don’t want to give a part of yourself to someone who wasn’t intended to have it. You’ll want it back one day and it will be too late.

Learn to control yourself, your thoughts, your impulses and your lusts now young men, or you’ll regret it later. It will be an STD. It will be an unwanted pregnancy that you will have absolutely zero legal say in. It will be 18 years of child support and a tie to someone you never intended to forever be tied too. It will be looking at the wife you were meant to have and wishing you didn’t have to battle all the thoughts, images, memories, and bad habits that were allowed to grow in your mind.

You need to wake up. Other men may have failed you, but it’s never too late to start getting it right. Truth be told, until you understand this, you’ll have a hard time being fit to love your wife, or raise a daughter. This world has enough daughters created, abandoned and raised by these types of men. They have their own wounds to heal, their own web to untangle. Don’t be a part of the problem now, or in the future.

For the sake of your sons, daughters and future generations, learn these things now. Those of us who’ve gone before you and fallen prey to these same lies and stereotypes owe this warning to you. Learning and implementing these values as a young man, in these times, will be the hardest thing you’ve ever done in your life. Fortunately, it will be worth it.

Think of all the broken homes, abandoned families, children searching for answers, porn addicts, sex-trafficking and hosts of other related issues that plague our society. Now, ask yourself, is it worth being disciplined, wise and restrained in order to give yourself the highest possible chance of avoiding falling prey to or becoming complacent in these pitfalls?

You have a God-given responsibility and a role to play as a man in this world. Take it seriously and start now. Don’t join the generation of men who’ve gone ahead of you and blissfully ignored and avoided these conversations in hopes that they’re not necessary.

Men who have conquered their physical desires in order to be the men they were created to be are out there, although they pale in comparison to those who haven’t. Some prominent examples are Colt McCoy, Jase Robertson, Tim Tebow, Philip Rivers, Kirk Cameron, Kevin Jonas, Zac Hanson, Taylor Lautner and even Lenny Kravitz, at a later stage in life, taking a vow of waiting until marriage.

As I close, let me point out, if you make a mistake in your journey, don’t let that start a free fall of excuses and justification of further poor choices and behavior. Read the story of King David in the book of 1 Samuel chapter 16 through 1 Kings chapter 2. As a matter of fact, read the story of Abraham and Sarah in the book of Genesis. Abraham’s poor choices and sexual deviance (to be fair, he had his wife’s blessing) with his Egyptian slave brought us his illegitimate son, Ishmael, and ultimately Islam. Men are far from immune to poor choices and bad behavior in this area. Unfortunately it happens, and that’s why I’m trying to warn you and encourage you to strengthen yourself in your self-control. Both examples provided here led to dangerous consequences that not only affected those directly involved, but to those around them as well.

Your fellow men, bros, homeys, and boys will commonly fail you here. Unless they were able to abstain until marriage, their advice is generally going to be based solely on their physical experience, rationalization of their choices, and excuses for men doing what men so often do. Be wise. Know better.

My purpose and heart in all of this is to encourage you to be better, to know better, to prepare, to protect. My purpose it to encourage you to be a man’s man in the most man’s man way; which is making difficult choices now, to better plan, guard, and prepare yourself for your future wife and family. Take it from those of us who often learn everything the hard way. God has a plan for you, and His plan is always the best plan.

Sincerely,

Someone Who Learned the Hard Way

Halloween, You Suck!

Halloween is a faux “holiday” that exemplifies so much of where our country has gone wrong. Remember the days of innocent puppy costumes and bedsheet ghosts? Yeah, that’s all been served a colossal backhand into the past. Now we have girls in stripper outifts and boys thinking it’s cute to be a pimp. Nice work, America!

Kids going door to door expecting free stuff. Next generation of Bernie Sanders supporters in training. No wonder it’s hip to be socialist.

Back in the day kids were happy to get an apple, a piece of that cheap orange and black waxy garbage candy, and maybe forego both of those in lieu of a trick. So someone slammed the door in their face or scared them by jumping from the bushes with a sharp object. Why don’t you cry about it you little freeloader?

You know what kids? You want a bunch of candy? Get a job.

You want to dress up and pretend you’re something you’ve always wanted to be? Join the club. The sad reality is it doesn’t matter. Tomorrow you’ll wake up and realize no costume can turn you into the hero you wish you were. Do work, kid!

Only America could turn pumpkins into a multimillion dollar industry just so people can practice bad art on something that lasts a week. Just bake a pie for goodness sake.

Tell your daughters to put some clothes on and tell your sons to pretend to be something worth being. Then take your kids out in a field, give them a shovel, have them dig a hole and pay them minimum wage. Deduct 30% for taxes and take them to Wal Mart and show them how much candy they earned. Welcome them to the real world where candy isn’t free, someone pays for it. Then tell them all that whining they did while digging is why all that stuff in Wal Mart comes from China (that and child labor, enslavement, poverty, etc).

Keep your kids away from my house. My light will be off and I don’t want to take a chance of backing over Spiderman when I pull out of my driveway.

So what if my family loves candy, pumpkin carving, and seeing cute little kids dressed up and trick-or-treating? So what if the light really is on because my wife won’t leave it off. Don’t judge me.

Happy Freaking Free Stuff For Nothing and Inappropriate Costume Day!

For the Love of Free

The Democratic party likes to thumb it’s elitist nose at the GOP. Such self-righteous posturing is sickening. What’s even worse is the surprising amount of people in our populace who have fallen prey to their rhetoric and grand ideals. The same things these people purport to hate about the GOP are glaring in their idolized party. Diversification? Is that code for old, white, political dynasty? The fact that all the self-proclaimed party of the people has to offer is a scandalous member of one of the dirtiest political dynasties on record, relying on her gender, should be all the proof needed.

The candidate polling behind Mrs. Clinton is Mr. Bernie Sanders. He is an avowed Democratic Socialist, and although I commend him for his passion in combatting corporate greed, we must part ways after this. Mr. Sanders, although not having a snowball’s chance in Hades against the Clinton machine, has made “free” college one of his flagship banners. In his defense, Mrs. Clinton has also been an avid proponent. Free college sounds so wonderful. As old timers are fond of saying, “If it sounds too good to be true…”, you know the rest.

Set aside for a moment the big lie behind the big, BIG business of secondary education, and let’s just focus on the aspect of making this free. When something worth paying for becomes free, it won’t take long before it’s worth what you pay for it. Sadly, this is also true of government services, even when not free. I won’t go into the scores of broken systems plagued with bureaucracy, corruption and ineptitude, but they are myriad.

Basically what the top Democratic candidate(s) are championing, is a tax increase to fund college tuition for all. In what world is this reasonable? Is it just for the millions of people who have zero desire to go to college to fund college tuition for those who do? Why would we send the message to tomorrow’s generation that the answer to combatting rising tuition rates, at supposedly public institutions of higher learning, is to share the burden among all taxpaying citizens?

Education is a beautiful thing, but the lie of an education coming solely from a college or university is a threat to our society and its foundation. There are many options to combat rising tuition costs and crippling student loan debt. For one, be wiser stewards financially. We’re a nation of debt whose answer isn’t to analyze our habits, but to cover them with taxpayer funds or some other subsidy. Secondly, let’s not forget the need for solid technical schools for various trade vocations and other specialized training. Last, but not least, despite the force-fed lies and statistics, not everyone should, can or even wants to go to college and that is okay.

Waving the banner of “free college tuition” is a slap in the face to all those who earned, worked, saved and struggled to earn their degree. It’s also a smokescreen to the fact that our public universities have been high-jacked by corruption, greed and a powerful, powerful liberal agenda that hates capitalism and believes other people’s money is the solution to cure all ills.

Let’s stop being so silly, so naive and so desperate for a piece of a pie we didn’t help bake. Wake up, America. Let’s get this thing back on track. First, we must fight, fight and fight harder to demand the end of corruption in government by both parties. When this is done, we can have all the ideological debate we want, but only when we have our government back. End term limits. End lobbying jobs for anyone who served in an elected office. If we’re really brave, demolish both parties. Candidates run solely on their individual platform. Campaign finance reform is a must. Individual contributions only, and cap that at a reasonable number. No more Super PAC’s. No more bought and paid for corporate puppets in our government.

This is just a start, America. Let’s wake up millennials. Stop falling victim to the euphoric feeling at the mention of “free”. Nothing in life is free. We should know, because all the free love, drugs and protest of moral authority and structure from the Boomer generation helped open the floodgates to the disastrous mess we see now. Our generation is often desperate for change, being a wiser electorate will help. Educating ourselves to the dangerous pitfalls of open and avowed socialism is another.

Christian or Conservative? Priority in Conflict

I’m ever thankful I’ve been tempered, somewhat. Both life lessons and a deepening relationship with Jesus Christ have helped me immensely in this regard. Temperamental by nature, it’s always been easy to let my passion for something get in the way of rationale. However, when a debate is driven by emotion over reason, it rarely ends well.

I’ve noticed this truth so much in the division we all know as politics. It’s no wonder so many people hate the mere mention. No real debate can be had anymore, it seems. When both sides are dug in and focused more on their deeply and passionately held beliefs above any common ground and reason, good things won’t often happen.

By nature, it’s obvious the majority of people choose passion over reason. Just look at our circus of presidential candidates. It’s disheartening to see so little substance, on both sides, create so many blind followers who lash out at any criticism of the candidate they’ve chosen to worship.

Why? Are they your personal friend? Are they family? Remember, these people are all supposed to work for us, not be blindly cheered by us. Their sole purpose in these positions is to serve for the greater good of “we the people”.

My faith leads me to align with many conservative platform principles: Pro-Life. Creating opportunity over generational handouts. Limited government. Freedom of (not from) religion. Biblical based moral truth. Support of biblical marriage and the family, and others.

What my faith, and the faith of any professing Christian, shouldn’t do, is allow me to choose any of these principles over loving people. Christ didn’t defend himself. His actions spoke for Him. If our actions spoke more than our rhetoric, and validated our beliefs, we’d be reaching so many more. Love is still contagious, even in a dark, cold, morally corrupt world.

I can abhor the murder of innocent babies in the womb, while still loving people. Yes, I have to guard my words in this regard, as I do condemn the action of abortion, and its legality, but I don’t condemn those who have fallen prey to it. We’ve all fallen into sin and this is no different or less tragic. However, human life has value at conception and to ignore that, doesn’t change the reality of it.

I’ll never believe the preferred answer to any problem is to create more government. As a nation we’re facing astronomical debt. Our post office, which benefits from a monopoly, operates at record deficits each year. Waiting on any federal court date, applying for any license, or observing so many who work in government jobs and hearing their horrific tales of bureaucracy run amok, should deter us all from making this the answer, whenever possible. Government at its best should provide a basic outline, level playing field, and security for the American people to make things happen.

So, while I do believe Christians have a personal right to practice and even display their faith, I also believe that right extends to others. This has to be a level playing field as people are people and any time an extreme develops, a desirable outcome is rarely achieved. Furthermore, as Christians, we have nothing to fear. We know the ending.

I think we, as so-called Christian conservatives or conservative Christians, need to be very careful. When we represent the Christian banner we are called to offer up a life that a non-believer would confuse to be that of Christ himself. How many of us can claim this?

Christians wouldn’t have to be so focused on legislating God’s law, if we as a whole would be more focused on living it. By now, the world is pretty clear what we’re against. Let’s not let what we’re against interfere with when, and how, we love others.

We are all keenly aware that God’s law is for our own good. Just look at our world today. I’m not suggesting we don’t speak up. I’m simply calling attention to the way we speak up. We are not the judge of unbelievers, God is. We are called to be salt and light to unbelievers. Remember, we’re responsible for our fruit. Let’s make sure our actions, language and judgement don’t cause our fruit to be rotten and plagued with a fowl stench.

So, fellow Christian conservatives, I’d like to apologize when I offend you, but I wouldn’t mean it. Often offense is necessary for truth to sink in. Nothing is more valuable to God than people. Not the Constitution. Not guns. Not ending welfare. Not legislating the definition of marriage. Not condemning homosexuality. All of this is second to loving others. If in fact, you can do these things while conveying love for people, then by all means, carry on.

If we can’t avoid vile speech, contempt, judgement and self-righteous attitudes when engaging others, even those who hate us, then let’s do the rest of our Christian family a favor and drop the Christian portion of our conservative banner.

Ultimately, when a conflict between Christian and conservative occurs, which are you?

For Restrooms, There Is No Identity Crisis

Some days I wonder if we’ve gone too far. You know, past the point of no return. Have we reached the precipice, where not only is common sense not too common, but it’s not even valued? Has political correctness run amok finally managed to strangle any semblance of being an overall sane and socially stable nation?

These questions stem from the recent cases of transgender students and their desire, and accommodation, to use restroom facilities in high schools located in Virginia, Ohio and Missouri. Has it come to this, really?

I get it, some people are troubled. Some people no doubt, legitimately suffer from the confusion of gender identity. Although, to be honest, being confused doesn’t change truth. The test to know whether or not you are male or female, in 99.9% of cases, is a pretty easy one. If you’re not familiar with it, ask a friend. I’m sure they can help you.

I could get off track on this, but that isn’t the point of this particular blog. I do believe that no matter how confused someone is, they are still a person. They are to be respected, and as Christians, we are called to love them. This is pretty cut and dry. Having issues with which gender they “identify” with isn’t grounds to torment, bully or even discriminate against them.

Herein lies the problem. In our oversensitive, begging for offense, lost liberal wonderland of no absolutes, people actually believe that denying a person the right to use the wrong restroom is discrimination. Dear God, we’ve all gone cross-eyed.

In case you didn’t know, I’ll help clarify: If you have a penis, you use the boys/men’s restroom commonly labeled with the international symbol for males found on restrooms worldwide. If in fact you have a vagina, you then use the restroom labeled with the international symbol of a female. To the ire of feminists everywhere, this symbol is a figure with a dress. This helps us know it’s a woman. Don’t worry, I’m sure that’s already under attack.

You see, these basic identifiers help answer these questions very clearly. To sum it up: Male parts, male restroom. Female parts, female restroom. How hard is this to grasp?

Had this debate been around in any previous time throughout the history of our great nation, I’m sure there would have been many pubescent boys who suddenly were confused when restroom time rolled around. In what warped, bizarre world are we asking parents to allow their daughters to use the same restroom as a boy, complete with penis, in the name of not discriminating?

When you refuse to allow girls to feel secure in the restroom around other girls and boys to use restrooms with other boys, aren’t you in fact discriminating against those who aren’t confused? Does it make any sense to disrupt the entire restroom structure as we’ve always known it to accommodate .03% of the population? Anyone tapping into their brain to process this knows the answer. Unless of course their radical liberal agenda has clouded their sense of reason.

No matter if the person in question identifies as male, female, puppy, kitten (kids do often identify as puppies and kittens, you know?) or tarantula, the litmus test is to use the restroom with those who have the same equipment. There, problem solved.

If those in our school systems, charged with educating our children to become the future of our nation, aren’t capable of this common sense conclusion, then we’re doomed. I hate to go all Glen Beck panic-mode on you, but you read that right: Doomed! When we don’t even know what’s male or female anymore then there is nothing we do know. Nothing.

Regardless of what slanted “science” may say, we’re not doing any favors to those who suffer, or anyone else, when we refuse to embrace moral and absolute truth. They won’t tell you about the tragic heightened chances of depressions and suicide that accompany gender reassignment surgery. None of that matters to PC police. Only your right to self-identify.

I’m not a doctor but I don’t have to be to know the answer here. Your sexuality doesn’t define you, period. If you’re male, you’re male. If you’re female, you’re female. If you’re black you’re black and if you’re white, you’re white. How you “identify” doesn’t change reality. Trust me. I identify as a best-selling author and owner of several successful businesses now relaxing in his beachside cabana in Belize. Yet, here I sit in my home, in Texas, working on another blog.

I’m not at all suggesting that any “transgender” person should be treated as less than anyone else. I’m not saying they aren’t people with feelings worthy of being loved. They absolutely are. However, love is not lying to people and it’s certainly not allowing them to pick and choose rules and standards as they see fit.

When it comes to who uses what restroom, the answer couldn’t be any clearer or simple. If we’re in a parallel universe that doesn’t’ grasp this, next thing you know, Donald Trump will be leading candidate for the GOP nomination. Wait…

The only exception to this we should be willing to offer a temporary accommodation for would be females who identify as male and would like to make a run at using the urinals. Good luck, girls.