React vs. Respond: Improving Your Company’s Culture

Re-act: Respond with hostility, opposition, or a contrary course of action to.

Re-spond: To react favorably to.

When laying the foundation for a thriving culture within a company whether it’s to maximize potential, achieve growth or turn around a struggling company it is imperative that the foundation laid is one of responding and not reacting. Reactions are at the root of inefficient time management, gossip-culture, finger-pointing, and toxic leadership. Responses are typical of a culture that is well rounded, confident, well-led and with an overall sense of teamwork necessary for the greater good of the organization.

Companies with a reactionary culture find each and every day mired in running from problem to problem. They may very well have a team of competent individuals; however, if leadership doesn’t allow for a top-down mentality of responding versus reacting then this culture will be nearly impossible to shift. It’s key in this situation to properly empower individuals to make the decisions necessary to do their jobs, even if mistakes are made. Each mistake becomes a learning opportunity and the right people in the right position, when empowered in a response culture, will not continue with the same mistakes time and again.

Ask yourself the following questions about what happens when a problem arises at your company:

Do people look to avoid or shift blame?

Do people look for a quick fix and easy solution?

Once the problem is resolved, does everyone breathe a sigh of relief and forget it?

If you’re answering yes to the above questions then you have identified signs of a React Culture in your company.

The following answers to these questions would help to confirm your company operates from a Respond Foundation:

No, the people at my company first identify any role they played that allowed the problem to arise or persist. They take it personally even if not directly their fault.

No, people study the problem to search not just for the “how” but more importantly the “why”. Finding the “why” identifies holes in your processes or communications that when properly addressed will insure problems of that nature don’t occur if everyone does in fact do their part.

No, people don’t rush past the problem they confidently put it in their rearview. Occasionally, they glance back just to see how far they’ve come and smile about the effort they put into solving that problem and prevent it from happening again.

It’s vital to the overall health of any company to identify and correct a Reactionary Culture. Reactionary Cultures make for angry and overstressed leaders, demoralized employees and a toxic culture not conducive to success, innovation and endurance. Even when the proper personnel is in place if the culture is one of reaction then success will either be non-existent or much more difficult than necessary. The good employees will find a way to abandon ship and you’ll be left with those who offer little and are there for the paycheck only. This is definitely not the environment any of us would want for our company.

I often use this identification in consulting jobs to insure that any efforts toward personnel improvements and coaching, sales initiatives, leadership improvement and coaching, team building or any other efforts aren’t wasted on a broken Reactionary Culture.

So, now is the time to take a good long look in the mirror and ask read the following chart to identify a few traits of the contrasting culture:

React                                   vs.                                               Respond
Insecurity	Confidence
Panic	Calm
Ignorance	Knowledge
Short Term	Long Term
Assumption	Facts
Waste	Efficiency
Survival	Success
Maintaining	Prospecting

Thank you for reading. I hope that you and your company continuously strive to be better each day. Business is my passion and I want to see you and yours succeed too!

I’ll expand more on React vs. Respond in future blogs. Please feel free to check out Crown Consulting Solutions at www.crownconsultingsolutions.net. CCS can also be found on Facebook.

I also share personal blogs on a wide variety of topics at www.weekleyblog.com and can be found on Facebook via The Weekley Blog.

Be Somebody!

I’m a difficult personality. I posess the self-awareness required to grasp this. Among my anal tendencies and expectations of excellence one thing that really drives these issues or strengths, depending on the situation and application, is my absolute refusal to accept circumstances that are anything less than desirable. We have too much ability and control over our circumstances to settle. This applies to all of us.

Before I make my next point I must preface it with a couple of clarifying statements in regards to my personal beliefs and passions. The first is that I am truly very thankful for the time, resources and effort my parents sacrificed to allow me to pursue my own path and build on their foundation. None of my following comments or perspectives are meant to disrespect the investments my parents made in providing for me. Secondly, what I’m about to delve into is only meant for those who want more. Those who demand more. Those who refuse to accept anything less than the realization of their dreams.

My father grew up in a time and place where he can tell stories of he and his brothers picking cotton. Yes, it was their own cotton but they picked their own cotton and worked their own fields. The same way most poor families did.

Now, my grandfather was by all accounts a hard worker. Having been a Marine Sergeant in WWII, and part of The Greatest Generation, he was a provider, even if a hard man emotionally. He did eventually parlay his hard work and effort into his own business but never prospered to the point where he wasn’t still working side by side with his hired labor. My father and his siblings grew up in square footage that by today’s standards would be akin to living in a shed. To be fair, it was a shed that provided shelter and was owned free and clear. They all knew hard work and they knew what scraping by meant.

My mother’s family was even less a stranger to poverty. Ten children of which my mother was the oldest equated to a total of twelve mouths to feed on the income of my grandfather alone who toiled in your below average low-income factory type jobs. If my father and his siblings knew scraping by, then my mother and her siblings knew the definition of poverty. They knew what it was like to be “the least of these” among neighbors and classmates. The hand-me-down kids whose neighbors often helped supply extra food or clothing. They were dirt poor.

I tell of the background of each of my parents in order to put into perspective that it was actually quite the accomplishment for us to live in our own two-bedroom trailer on our own piece of land. In our rural setting this certainly wasn’t out of the norm. Yes, looking back, we were poor although I certainly didn’t really understand that until my mid to late teens.

I don’t thumb my nose at the roof over my head and food on the table that my parents provided. However, I highly value that what they did instill in me is an absolute belief in hard work, education and that I am just as capable of accomplishing something great as anyone else on this planet. Not just capable, but determined to do it. I refuse to be a stereotype. I refuse to be a victim of my circumstances, rather I choose to be a product of my circumstances. Being poor and not having the opportunity many have wouldn’t turn me into a complainer, a whiner or a chronic excuse maker. These things helped put a chip on my shoulder that fueled me to succeed.

Growing up in a rural setting helped me to understand values that aren’t often found among a strictly white-collar background. Work, hard work, is something to be proud of even if the wages are low. There is much to be said about your efforts for a long day showing a tangible result. Even more so when that result is of high quality. A man is only as good as his word was something I saw demonstrated on both sides of the line and still sticks with me to this day. Out of all the things I control, my word being my bond is one of the most important. Helping others is a responsibility we should all feel. “But by the grace of God go I” is something I saw my father exemplify in his feelings toward most any and everyone, always understanding you never really know until you’ve walked a mile in someone else’s shoes.

These values laid a foundation for who I am now, what I stand for, and what I believe to be true about people and opportunity. Each and every one of us have control over our lives. We may not control all circumstances or events but we absolutely control what we do with them and who they let us become.

I believe people are created with far more power and ability than most of us realize. After all, being created in the image and likeness of God is a pretty big deal even though we often don’t act like it. To me, it’s exciting, powerful and very telling. If God used the very first book of His living word to us telling of His creation, then wouldn’t it stand to reason that we too are made to create?

I don’t believe in wasting time whining or complaining about what we don’t have or can’t do and what others have and can do. I don’t have patience or much tolerance for people who accept subpar results or quality to be the fruit of their efforts in regards to their passion or vocation. If something is worth doing, it’s worth doing well.

I believe that if someone like me can be blessed with the opportunity and abilities that I have then everyone has that same potential. I believe that if a country boy from a rural area and a low-income home with no college degree can achieve the things I have, build the network I have, lead the people I’ve lead, be respected and valued for the things I’ve learned then anyone else can achieve these same things.

I’ve had the opportunity to visit 37 or so of these great United States, 5 Canadian provinces, Mexico, Italy and a few stops in between. Opportunity abounds for those who choose to pursue it. Those who refuse to accept defeat. The difference in people, in my opinion, is what it takes to defeat them or scare them into accepting less than their dreams and true potential. People who experience difficulty, are thankful to come out the other side and who then decide to play it safe are settling. Don’t get me wrong, that’s certainly your right. It’s your life and if you’re content with that, so be it.

There always remains that small percentage. The “Us”. Just us. The ones who although cognizant and thankful for their blessings, opportunities and achievements, always choose to continue in pursuit. We can always be better. We can always do more. We can always help more. The goal need not be perfection, but continued pursuit and improvement toward doing, building and accomplishing greatness. Never settling or become complacent.

I’ve been blessed to meet others like me, who continue to passionately pursue their goals and chief among those goals is helping others do the same. A good friend, who’s become a mentor to me, always uses the phrase “Be somebody” and “Be somebody in Christ!” These are both so in-line with who he is as a person and how he too feels about life and people.

This man was born into a large family who barely made ends meet. He began to work in a golf pro shop around the age of ten and at twelve years old he started paying into the social security system. You read that right, back in the days before child labor laws, he started paying into the system at twelve years of age.

He went on to enlist in the US Army. This patriotic embodiment of a hard working American then began a career AFTER his retirement from the military at 39 years of age. He is now one of the best know names in his chosen industry, has a vast network of business contacts and spends much of his time in mentoring both kids in the Royal Rangers program, other business professionals that he has developed a relationship with, his very own Passing the Baton initiative, activities in his church, his own annual golf tournament and many other ways of giving back. This is an example of being about it and not just talking about it.

People like us have a low tolerance for shoddy work, complaining and maybe more than anything else, for people who don’t understand that great things are built through and with other people. Not just people like us, but the role players too. When you’ve been blessed as we have you understand that it is a responsibility and high calling to be a blessing to others.

It is high time more people in this country stopped looking at what they don’t have, stopped complaining about what they can’t do and got busy using what they can do and do have to take the first steps toward their dreams. Yes, failures will come. The beauty of learning to step out in faith and banish fear is that failure actually becomes a blessing in terms of the lesson it teaches. It will rear its ugly head. You will have times where you fall flat on your face but my hope and prayer for you is that when this happens, as it has to me, you’ll be better for it. You’ll be stronger for it. You’ll be smarter because of it. Then, you’ll dig in your heels and be more determined than ever.

As a very successful business man and mentor once said to me in the midst of my struggle to make something happen out of a system that lacked structure and clarity, “There are two kinds of people. Those who talk about it and those who make it happen.” He would know because with only an eight grade education and his determination he has now amassed a net worth of hundreds of millions of dollars.

You were created to make it happen. In the words of my good friend, “Be somebody!”

12 Steps to Not Suck at Being a Man

Here it is. The day of reckoning. Don’t say I didn’t warn all of you. As I told you, I have opinions and I like to share them, hence the blog. I always welcome healthy, hearty and civil debate. With that said, spare me any unshaven knee-jerk reaction of feminist fury. I have my opinions and you have yours. You’re welcome to start your own blog and I may even read it and disagree strongly.

Today I’m going to tackle a subject that makes my blood pressure rise. Get to the point you say? What is this enlightening insight you wish to share? Calm down, I’m getting there. Changing the world one keystroke at a time isn’t that simple.

I’m going to share some of my beliefs on men. Yes, men. I know, I know. We’re supposed to stick together. Have each other’s backs. Testosterone power. Burp, watch sports, get nagged by our wives, wear awful clothes and altogether be useless without the right woman.

No one ever wants to talk about the traditional role of men anymore. Even worse, men run from their roles and responsibilities like Usain Bolt in the Olympics.

Although there are most certainly exceptions to the rule, overall whether observed through science or societal norms, men are the physically stronger sex. This should tell us all something. Even if you don’t share a Christian worldview as I do, then you still must accede to the fact that men are built for an obvious role. Protector, hunter, gatherer, provider. Yes, it seems your very being as a man is telling you something about the part you are meant to play in this life.

I know this all seems crazy in a world where we can’t even label a gender specific bathroom anymore but if we would all quit trying so hard to disprove blatantly obvious truth in the name of equality and come back down to earth where common sense answers these questions, then perhaps we can move on. Low and behold Bob is Bob and Sue is Sue and with only rare exceptions to this rule, they both have unique traits and characteristics that prepare them to serve in certain capacities.

Now, I’ll stop here and make a few clarifications. I am not a He-Man Woman Hater. I do believe women are just as, if not more capable, of doing the majority of things men do. I do not negate any woman who chooses to be a career woman. I blame this issue more on a society that values consumerism over community and has altogether devalued the role of the backbone of all healthy families (the mother) but that’s another blog entirely. So, let me be clear, women rock. They are smart and equally as competent on the whole as any men I know and being a man in a world without women would be boring and unfulfilling.

What I’d like to get back to here is the topic of men and their role and in contributing to the good of society. We have a responsibility as men, husbands and fathers and we shouldn’t take it lightly.

I have compiled a list we’ll call 12 Steps to Not Suck at Being a Man. I’m trying to help you here, so man up and make some changes if any of this applies to you:

1. If you sleep with ANY woman be prepared to father her child and honor her as that child’s mother. Odds are, a child may not happen but if it does then let’s not act like we’re unaware of what causes children. You think abstinence education is a lie? You think it’s uncool? Talk to Tim Tebow, Jase Robertson or Colt McCoy to name a few. All manly, all strong leaders, all virgins until they were married.  It’s certainly going to be one of the most difficult things to do as a man and isn’t valued in our society today, but the long term reward will be well worth it. As a side note, should a child be the product of your relationship with any woman you have basic responsibilities to that woman and your child. I don’t care how crazy you think she is, how much you hate her, she hates you or anything about her at all. As a man it is your direct responsibility to do all you can to insure your child has a roof over their head and food on their table. Period. End of story. Even the whiny child support stories. What the mother chooses to do with your obligation is not on you. Regardless of what she does, it does not change your responsibility. Your responsibility also doesn’t end there but for the sake of making other points I’ll limit this one. It’s worthy of its own blog.
2. There is no excuse for lazy and there is no substitute for hard work. No one, not even society, wants a man that won’t work. Stop making excuses, suck it up and get to work. You want a surefire way to be stuck in an unsatisfying life spent making mistakes, excuses and blaming others? Be lazy. You will most certainly have to do jobs in your life that you don’t like or want to do. Do them anyway. You do what you have to do to provide, advance and succeed.
3. Man up for God’s sake. It’s okay if say, your daughter, wife, Old Yeller or something along those lines causes you to tear up. Being sensitive isn’t necessarily a disqualifier for a man card. Being sensitive about dumb stuff, well that’s another story. Men need thick skin. If you don’t have thick skin, then you’ll always be susceptible to being played by your feelings. Men will eat you alive and push your buttons and women will eat you alive and push your buttons. So, if the Testosterone Police find you crying while watching Lifetime or pouting up because someone spoke harshly to you then they have every right to blow the Wuss Whistle, put a diaper on you and stick a pacifier in your mouth. You’re a man, act like one.
4. Don’t be so desperate. It’s disgusting. Have some dignity. Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT be that guy. That guy on Facebook that comments on every female’s attention starved, cleavage filled bathroom selfie that silently screams about a father who wasn’t there (see number 1) and other insecurities that lead them to seek validation in all the wrong ways. You know that guy because right now a couple names popped in your head. They show up on every single female photo or post with the social media comment equivalent of a bad pick-up line. “You’re gorgeous”, “So Hottttt (with no limit to the number of t’s used just to be sure)”, “I want to be that puppy/baby/kitten or any other object close to the female pictured”, “Still as hot as always” and on and on. This is pathetic. It’s says one of three things about you men, either you’re the pictured female’s bestie and you two should get your nails done together (clear violation of man-code), you’re an insecure leg-hound desperately seeking your own validation, or you’re a narcissistic leg-hound with a Hugh Hefner complex. Have pride and respect for yourself and others.
5. Respect women. Chivalry may be rare, but it’s not dead. I don’t care what a fuzzy-legged, tree-hugging, abortion promoting feminist says. Don’t let a vocal minority ruin it for the rest of them. Open her door. Pull her chair out. Walk on the outside of the sidewalk. You should treat every single woman like you’d want someone to treat your mother, sister or daughter.
6. Dress for success. Many of us may lack fashion sense and it is okay to find some help here. What you wear says so much about you. From the desperate “I hate my father” ensembles of black with overboard piercings and other non-masculine attire to the “I was the fat-kid or dork in high school” offerings of constant muscle shirts and accentuating athletic wear, it all says something. Now, I’m certainly not Mr. GQ as anyone who knows me can attest to, but there are things men can and should wear and things they shouldn’t. Violations of man-code dress code include: Turtle-neck sweaters unless it’s Christmas and your grandmother bought it for you, skinny jeans if you have any testosterone or dignity at all (sorry youth pastors and wanna-be pop rockers), bikini underwear (no such thing as these for men no matter what the label says), fur anything with the exception of a coon-skin hat or bear fur, scarves, ascots, any neckerchief, short shorts (you are not Tom Selleck as Magnum PI and those days are gone), harem pants and leggings. There are most certainly others but you get the point. Dress like a man.
7. Any man is only as good as his word and a good man’s word is his bond. Don’t be a liar. Out of all the things you can be in this life, this is one you should be sure to avoid. It’s not always easy to tell the truth but the simple fact of the matter is, if you didn’t engage in things you didn’t want to take responsibility for then lying wouldn’t be necessary in the first place. Work very hard at being a man of your word. It matters.
8. Be a defender. Courage is stepping up to the plate when others are scared to do so. It doesn’t mean you’re not scared, it means you own your fear. Never be a man who watches others get bullied or abused. Be the man that takes a stand even when it’s uncomfortable.
9. Stop the porn. Really, stop it. Pornography demonstrates a lack of self-control and should be the very thing women fear most about men, in that you begin looking at women as the sum of their body parts rather than their substance. The women and men may very well willingly choose to engage in what you’re seeing but that in itself doesn’t make it justifiable. Strip clubs also aren’t the places real men hang out. Real men value their wives, daughters, sisters and mothers enough to realize that the women they’re objectifying are that very same thing to someone. Even if the women themselves choose to be there, it doesn’t mean you should support it. The problem is you. We’re all men here. We all love and are attracted to beautiful women. It’s how we are created, but we are also created with the gift of self-control. We all have it whether or not we choose to use it. Not using this makes us creeps, not manlier. Porn ruins marriages and lives.
10. Don’t play into the stereotype any longer. Pop culture and Hollywood would have us believe there are no more Andy Griffith’s and we’re left only with Al Bundy and Homer Simpson. Don’t be that guy. Really. Be a man that honors, protects, defends and serves others. Start with your family. Don’t be the lazy, stupid, sex-driven animal our culture says we are.
11. Never tell yourself or your buddies the grass is greener on the other side. Every single one of us have our own set of issues. If you or they leave their wife for someone else, the one guarantee is they’ll have a whole new set of problems on their hands. The new will wear off. The bathroom will stink when their new love uses it too. They’ll have habits that drive you just as crazy. We all like to hear our buddies complain and then take the path of least resistance and validate their gripes. Don’t do it. Hear them, listen, sympathize and be a real man when you give advice. Remind them about commitments and vows. Remind them about their word and their responsibility. True friends speak truth even when it’s not easy or what the other person wants to hear. Now, if this friend is yet to marry, let them run all they want. They’ll figure out the problem is them soon enough or they’ll spend their life as “that guy” we’ve discussed.
12. Mentor others. Men, we have a problem in this world. Too many children are born into fatherless homes. The statistics and studies behind the problems this creates have ramifications throughout our society. Whether through youth sports, volunteering at church, foster children, adoption, reaching out to a fatherless male family member or friend’s child, get involved. Be the positive male role model and example they need. If we don’t start reaching out and being examples of what men should be then the one thing we can all be sure of is we’ll have more and more of the men that no society wants or needs.

Let’s start with these 12. None of us are perfect. Most of us have probably messed up all twelve in some way or another and if not we probably just haven’t lived long enough. The bottom line is that we are responsible for the kind of men we choose to be. Why not choose to be a good man? I’ve yet to meet one person who would say they want their tombstone to read, “Here lies the worst man and human-being to ever live.”

You don’t have to be the strongest, fastest, smartest, richest or toughest guy to be a good man. Start with integrity and go from there. Doing the right thing, repeatedly, lays a firm foundation for being the man you and those around you should want you to be. More importantly for being the man our society so desperately needs more of. It starts with you.

The Dark Side of Leadership

It has been said, “Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.” That can definitely be true in a leadership position. People aspire to be managers and dream of being leaders. While that is certainly an admirable goal, no one ever wants to talk about the tough choices leaders are tasked with making. It’s a nice place to be when things are good. It can be the worst place to be when things don’t go as planned. Coincidentally, the tough times are where true leadership is tested and great leaders are forged.

I feel that in general I deliver on one of my key goals and values of making my team members feel valued. I have the ability to coach them and encourage them to push themselves and to overall achieve more than they would on their own. I enjoy sowing into others and sharing the wisdom I’ve gained through bad decisions and difficult circumstances. I relish watching someone thrive from a foundation of support and guidance that I’ve provided. There really is nothing better than leading a team that achieves its goals.

There is, however, a dark side behind all the success talk and dreams. The dark side of success is failure. Nothing hurts worse or carries a heavier burden than failure. Worse than failing yourself is failing others. Others that depend on you. No matter how good the team or how solid the company, the unexpected is always lurking around the corner. Things can change in the blink of an eye. Accepting this possibility and responsibility is not for the faint of heart.

Equally difficult are the times when you have to make the tough choice to let a team member go for the greater good of the team and the company or organization as a whole. The leader in me wants to save everyone. I want to believe that no matter how bad the situation or attitude of an employee I can turn it around. The fact is, I can’t. There are times when changes have to be made. You see, in leadership, you must be able to make these decisions in the best interest of the business or team, no matter how difficult.

I can deal with the risk of failure. I can put it on the line knowing the unexpected may lurk in and ruin a great team or company. I can bear the responsibility of answering to mistakes and accepting blame. Of all these, the one thing that will still keep me up at night and haunt me is letting someone go. Even when it’s the right choice. Even when it has to be done. Even when that troublesome employee is jeopardizing the others. Don’t read this wrong, I can, will, have and will continue to do this whenever necessary. I’ll also always self-evaluate in order to make sure that any responsibility I failed in or opportunity I missed that would have prevented the dismissal, doesn’t happen again.

I’ll wonder what else I could have done. I’ll wonder what it feels like to be in the home or heart of that person. I’ll wonder if it will cause them financial hardship. I’ll hope they don’t think it’s personal and that I’m just some jerk who doesn’t like them. I’ll pray about it before and I’ll continue to pray about it and for that person, after. I’ll hope that after the time we’ve gotten to know each other they’ll take something positive away. I’ll hope they do some reflecting and self-evaluation. I know I will. Then, I’ll move on and they will too.

Even when it was the right choice, the best choice and even if it was the only choice. This is part of the burden of the leader.   The best leaders don’t spend much time beating their chest for all the victories, the big deals they’ve closed, the lives they’ve saved, the homeruns they’ve hit. They spend their time wondering how to avoid the lost deal, the lost life, the soured employee, the strikeout. How to be better. Chasing perfection. Constant improvement.

I’m not sure how others deal with it but it’s during those difficult times I’m most sensitive to God’s grace and mercy. His blessings are what remind me that ultimately He is in control. He knows my heart. He knows my strength’s and he knows my weaknesses. Most importantly, He loves that other person more than I ever could and He also has both our best interests at heart. I hope they find Him. I hope they know Him. If so, I really have nothing to worry about and neither do they because the greater issue is resolved.

When Business Is Not Just Business

You’ve heard it said, “business is business”. That holds true for most business-first type mindsets. However, if you claim to be a Christian and to know Jesus Christ, it will never be business-first and it will always be people-first. Yeah, I know, I lost some of you there. You shook your head and the voice inside said “that’s why your way will never work in the business world.” Wrong.

Putting people first is never a hindrance or burden to your business or profession. As a business owner or professional you aren’t doing employees, coworkers, or often even customers any favors if they can’t count on you for honest feedback and instruction. Not just verbally, but in demonstration and commitment as well.

Let’s say you have a salesman on your staff who is a terrible people person, lacks knowledge of your product or service and isn’t convincing in anything they do, other than convincing you that they are bad at sales. Putting this person first is not blindly overlooking the obvious. Putting them first is caring enough to point out where their weaknesses lie, offering to help correct them and giving them a chance as you support and encourage them in their effort of improvement. At this point, your commitment has either helped them grow and become better at the job or proved that they are ill suited for sales. If the latter holds true, then keeping that person in that position is actually harming them. People need to be good at what they do and to feel valued. That is impossible when you’re not good at what you do. People are usually aware of this even if they won’t admit it. Most of us know when we’re bad at something or it doesn’t suit us. At this point, we find a position where they are better suited or we release them to find a position somewhere else that better suits them.

We see this lack of honesty and clarity in the personal and professional realm all the time. We see it in friendships, marriages, families, etc. Rather than risk hurting someone’s feelings or offending them we just ignore the issue or worse, we sometimes support and encourage the problem in what we perceive as a spirit of love, loyalty or passivity. All of these can actually cause much more damage to ignore than to lovingly, caringly and committedly address the problem.

How many times have you seen or been a child that lacks talent and ability in a certain area? Most of us wish the child would excel. The truth and best interest of that child isn’t the easy route. The worst thing for that child is to have “those parents” who tell them how great they are and how bad everyone else is. “Those parents” who are the loudest and most obnoxious cheering section and always find fault with the other children while only pointing out the good in their own. The child’s lack of talent and ability will be exposed at some point. They will be forced to realistically confront their actual talent and abilities compared to those who genuinely excel. They will either see it for themselves or their peers will point it out. Life works that way. Business is no different.

Had “those parents” backed off and taken a long term, yet difficult approach to their child’s future they would have better prepared them for what lay ahead. Perhaps, as is the goal of all parents, they would have steered them into finding their true gift or calling. Painful correction, discipline or interaction now can save someone from even worse pain or failure in their future. Providing someone with a false foundation in confidence, identity, and self-recognition insures that future battles with adversity and insecurity will be much more difficult than necessary. Loving and having a heart for others gets you dirty and requires hard work and commitment.

If someone is ill suited for a position based on their skillset and disposition then encouraging or supporting them in a continuation down that path is dishonest, lacks true compassion and is not a display of genuine love at all. It’s either a display of insecurity or lack of care and commitment.

As a conclusion to this, we have one last key issue. You cannot possibly instruct someone in love and concern for their well-being if you yourself are riddled with insecurity or suffer from a lack of integrity. If you do, this will come to light immediately. Not only in the results but also in your relationship with those around you. (Proverbs 11:3 The integrity of the upright guides them, but the crookedness of the treacherous destroys them. Luke 6:31 Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.)

If you aren’t honest with yourself and willing to open up and receive constructive and honest criticism from those closest to you then you yourself are not yet equipped to provide instruction. If this is the case, you have to work on you, your heart, and your relationship with your Heavenly Father. If you’re right with Him and are confident of your identity according to Him then you should be equipped for this commitment to loving, sowing into and committing to making a difference in the lives of others.

No one called to lead in the business realm should be riddled with insecurity. Insecurity always breeds insecurity. Insecurity is an emotional and contagious cancer. As a business leader you have the responsibility of surrounding yourself with friends and mentors who put your well-being and personal growth ahead of being your friend. These people don’t always tell you things that are easy to hear, but they help stretch you. They help hold you accountable. You have a responsibility to yourself and others to not surround yourself with your “boys and girls” but to surround yourself with men and women of integrity who aren’t scared to leave a mark when necessary. Insecure people cannot deal with this.

You won’t be a perfect leader or coworker. You will make mistakes. Remember, people can handle you making mistakes and not being perfect, when they know that you genuinely care about them. What makes the difference is being transparent and taking ownership for your actions. Be the leader or coworker people need and they will become the employees and coworkers you and your company need. By doing the right things, the right way, everyone wins in life and business in spite of the outcome.

There IS a Better Way to Do This

3 Focal Points for Your Business (and personal) Life

The primary goal for your life is relationship. That is why you were created and that is why you are here. If you do not believe that, then you probably also do not believe in God or his son Jesus Christ and by now probably are not reading this anyway. I kid, I kid. There are plenty of us that have issues with people skills. I can quite often be one of them but fortunately God is not done with me yet. There are behind the scenes roles in business that do not require much human interaction. The rest of us are going to move forward now and pray for you later (kidding again).

You were created first and foremost for relationship with God (Isaiah 43:7). Secondly, you were created for relationship with other people (Hebrews 10:24-25). What better platform to build relationships than the business realm? Not only do you get to accept the challenge to meet and gain the trust of so many types of people and personalities but you get to build your business while you do it! As a Christian business owner or leader you will not reach many of the next steps if you do not choose to make building solid relationships with your employees and coworkers, as well as your customers, a top priority.

Another important focus for your Christian business should be on giving. Yes, I said it. Giving. No, I did not say selling. I did not say billing. I did not say tax write off. All of those are important and through your giving you may indeed get a tax write off but if that is your focus then keep it. Yes, most Christians agree with tithing. If not, that is a whole other debate and topic. I can tell you from experience that tithing the minimum 10% does bring a peace of mind and blessing on the other 90% that will never be experienced otherwise. If you have trouble with 10% right out of the gate, then the Christian lifestyle is probably not for you because that is just the beginning (If you’re inclined to walk away now and keep your money, don’t, keep moving forward, God will work that out too). (Matthew 25:44-45, Acts 20:35)

When you listen to God you will be led to give all kinds of money and resources. If you are not careful you will not even be able to avoid eye contact with the homeless man at the intersection anymore. You know that money in your wallet or purse for Starbucks? You may have to GIVE that money to someone. I apologize if this is too much for you at once. Take a deep breath and let us move on.

Many Christians feel if they tithe on their income then they have met their “obligation”. However, God’s word is clear on what happens to those who freely give, those who give with a cheerful heart and on and on (2 Corinthians 9:7, Luke 6:38). I challenge you to find ways to give not just monetarily but also of your time, resources, and the area of your expertise. Imagine (channeling my inner John Lennon but with a belief in God) a community where Christian businesses committed to serving others not just as individuals but through their businesses also. Own a bakery? Give free food, teach an aspiring baker how it’s done (yes, there is the chance they steal your family secret and open next door) or give the staff an off day to serve others while still getting paid (GASP!). Own a car dealership? Start a program to provide vehicles to those in need, help people repair their credit, or give someone in need a job. Are you an attorney? How about some pro-bono work outside of that which is already required. Partner with a non-profit or other Christian organization and put your skills to use. This list can go on forever but I think you get the point. Use what you have to help others in all sorts of ways.

The last point I would like to mention will make no sense to the business mind but will make perfect sense to those who are God-minded. Forgiveness. Yes, even in business. Does someone or some other company owe your business money? If you have the authority there are times when you should practice forgiveness. Now, if you do not own the business and are in a position of leadership I would not suggest you to forgive that $10,000.00 dollar unpaid invoice. That would fall under a discussion of theft. (Ephesians 4:32)

Let us just be honest here and acknowledge that lawsuits are rarely productive for either party (sorry attorneys). After legal fees, time lost, stress, and possibility for damage of reputation there are few times that it was worth it. So, from a selfish standpoint you are better to turn that into forgiveness anyway (remember, God knows your heart). Those of you who have forgiven offenses in your past can imagine the feeling of release and sense of peace when you send that invoice that is past due and obviously will not be paid with a note explaining why you are forgiving the debt. There may be times when a customer owes you money but cannot afford to pay but does not want release from the debt. In this circumstance I would suggest allowing them to trade services or labor. Find a way to allow them to clear the debt by the means available to them. (Matthew 6:14-15)

I may have thrown you a couple curves today. I would apologize but I would not mean it. The bottom line is that through these three basic Christian principals of being focused on 1) Relationships, 2) Giving, and 3) Forgiveness we can all help impact the business community and ultimately the Kingdom for His good.

Go Beyond Caring and Do

Maybe I’m writing this from 35,000 feet to feel as if people care enough about what I have to say that I must capture it mid-flight. No, that’s not it. Maybe I was so struck by my thoughts I felt that I absolutely must capture them now or they would be lost forever into the Realm of Uncaptured Thought. No, that’s not it either. Perhaps I just needed something to do for the next hour and a half until I land at the next stop on my travels home. Yes, that sounds more like it.

Although my first two reasons do sound plausible I have to admit that I’d be shocked if my blog readership had yet to break into triple digits. I have ways to monitor that and do get good feedback but I never track it, ever. I’m not that important, nor wise, nor influential. What I am is someone who has struggled, failed and ultimately overcome like most of you. I attribute my overcoming to my faith in Christ. Yes, I realize the connotation that carries with it in this day and age. Trust me, it’s certainly not Christ’s fault that people have given His name that rep. However, people having given his name that rep is very much a part of the beauty in His redemption of mankind.

So as you read that opening bonus to gain a little insight into why I write these, follow me now directly to the point of this particular blog entry. If you read any of my blogs at all or keep up with Christian Business Alliance you’ll already know that I am passionate about people of faith carrying that banner with integrity, meaning and determination into their realm of influence.

I’d like to tell you the story of a man we’ll call Bill. One day a businessman I know was out to lunch to grab a quick bite to eat. He stopped in to grab a quick sandwich from the local convenience store and it just so happened they were out of his favorite. He then decided to grab a quick bite from the adjoining fast food restaurant. As this businessman, who we’ll call Jim walked toward the entrance to the fast food restaurant he noticed a man sitting in one of the chairs out front. Nothing really set this man apart other than he had a friendly countenance and warm smile. He looked to be in his late forties or early fifties.

As Jim passed he nodded and gave a friendly greeting to the stranger. Nothing out of the ordinary, just being friendly. The man smiled and asked, “Sir, could I ask you a question?” Jim thought, why not, and replied with a, “Sure, what can I do for you?” The stranger introduced himself as Bill and explained he was in a difficult spot at the moment. It seems he’d gotten himself into quite the predicament. He had no money on him, no access to any and was on the hungry side. “No problem” said Jim, “follow me into this restaurant and let’s get you something to eat.” After they had both ordered, something told Jim to ask Bill if he could join him. If nothing else, maybe he’d have the opportunity to pray with Bill and let him know there was someone who cared. Prayer is good and Christians should stay in prayer; however, there are times when God wants us to do. To get involved, dirty, stretched. To make a difference. Jim didn’t know it but this was one of those times.

Jim introduced himself as they sat to eat and told Bill a little about himself. He then asked Bill what his story was. What a beautiful, yet tragic story would unfold. Bill was originally from Los Angeles, CA and had landed in East Texas a couple years prior in order to be close to his grandmother, who was now in a convalescent home. Decades ago, Bill heeded the call of Uncle Sam and signed up in the US Army at the age of 16, with his father’s encouragement, signature and blessing. He found himself headed to Vietnam. As his father told him, he’d either end up shooting at and being shot at on the streets of LA or he’d learn skills and how to be a man doing it for his country.

There’s more to Bill’s story but it really warrants a novel rather than a blog so I will carry on with this condensed version in order to share what I’ve set out to share today.

It seems Bill had made some questionable decisions in the department of love. He moved in with a younger lady and began a cohabitation that gave her great control. He moved into her apartment and then when he was forced to put his car in the shop for a new transmission her car became the sole means of transportation. For whatever reason, their love lamp fizzled, she put him out and he had nowhere to go. He’d lost his job due to the transportation issue. Bill assured Jim that he was not a drinker, drunk addict, nor a homeless man even though he most certainly found himself with nowhere to go at this very time. He also made it known that he was no womanizer and had not been abusive or unfaithful in order to cause his eviction.

Sensing something genuine about Bill and his story, an idea formed in Jim’s mind. You see, he happened to be a manager at a shop that employed 80-90 people at any given time. This included welders, painters, maintenance men, janitors, etc. Jim asked Bill what his skills were and sure enough, he’d worked as a welder and fitter in the past. Jim decided to see what he could do and told Bill he’d check on him again by the end of the day to see if he had found a way out of his predicament and his new convenience store home.

After speaking with the hiring manager back in his office he decided to pick Bill up and bring him back for an interview if he were interested. Not only was Bill interested, he was truly shocked that Jim even returned. The interview went well and Bill was told to be back Monday to report to work.

Jim decided to see how he could assist Bill over the weekend in order to help him get back on his feet. He settled on paying for a couple nights in a nearby hotel. Bill was very thankful and expressed his gratitude. He made sure Jim knew he wouldn’t let him down. Our friend Jim, didn’t stop there. He picked Bill up on Saturday afternoon and treated him to lunch at a local restaurant and made sure he had the necessary toiletries as well as food for the evening. He left him a couple dollars in the event Bill needed them and told him not to hesitate to call if he needed anything else.

As of today, Bill has completed his third month of work for his new employer and has even received a raise. He harbors a fantastic attitude that many have taken notice of. He is a hard worker who rarely spends an idol minute. He is mindful and overly thankful of Jim and what he feels he has done for him.

Why did Jim do it? Why didn’t he just throw out a couple dollars or buy Bill some food and move on? Why? Because that’s not what someone with a heart for others would do. He’d get involved, he’d care and he’d let the person know that he cared about him and why. He would demonstrate this not by bashing Bill over the head for bad choices but he would enable him to help himself back on his feet. The difference here is Bill was a man who needed that opportunity in order to pull HIMSELF back up with an opportunity to work and get back on his feet. He needed someone to care enough to see past his circumstances and see him as a person in a tough spot.

Will Bill continue to thrive in his work? Will he one day be a shift supervisor or leader for his employer? Who knows? What matters is he now has the opportunity to make it happen. The rest is his responsibility.

You see, Jim acted in a way that embodies the tenants and heart of Christian Business Alliance and its members and supporters; those of us in the CBA network. We use our platforms to make a difference. To be a light. To do what is right.

What if every Christian business owner looked for opportunities to find their own Bill? Can you imagine the change we’d make in our world? Not only that, but you may just find one of your best future employees. Someone who brings a smile, a strong work ethic and an appreciation for the opportunity provided every day they walk in the door. You know what? That impacts the bottom line. We make a difference in our business, but also for the Kingdom and it just doesn’t get better than that.

What We Don’t Want to Have Here, Is a Failure to Communicate!

Ephesians 4:25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.

Colossians 4:6 Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up…

Matthew 5:37

Communication is, in my experience, one of the best indicators of a business’ health. When you show me a small business or organization that communicates clearly and where all are on the same page you will show me an organization capable of achieving its goals. When people are clear with each other on where they stand and where they want to go then everyone can put aside the petty differences and move in the same direction. A unified front and clear mission statement is an important step in mapping a plan for your successful business.

It amazes me to see so many business men and women who are willing to invest their time, money, and effort into an enterprise, yet neglect clear communication. To be fair, I have seen successful companies that also suffer from this same problem. However, when I observe them I find myself continually thinking “Man, those guys have been successful even in spite of those problems. Imagine what they COULD be doing…”

My feelings and recognition of this particular problem have been based on my own experiences, including failures when it comes to communication. I know firsthand how it feels to close big deal after big deal with little recognition or acknowledgement of your effort. I also know how it feels to really screw something up, be willing to take responsibility, yet deal with a passive aggressive form of discipline or dissatisfaction from the boss. I would much rather someone look me square in the eye and deal with something head on than to tap dance around an issue you both know exists. Unfortunately, this is easier said than done. Equally important as addressing the issue head on is dealing or “communicating” on the issue in the proper manner. (Colossians 4:6 Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out.)

All of us know of people, or were the people, who worked for companies that had to downsize or layoff employees. This seems a cut and dry issue. People have to go, tell them, give them their paycheck, and move on. Not so fast.   I’ve seen firsthand where companies have terminated employees without so much as an explanation or even discussion. It will always be my very strong belief, that when an employee’s services are no longer needed for any reason that this should be handled directly. It is never acceptable to have anyone other than the direct supervisor of the employee or owner of the company break this news.

As business owners, managers, operators and so on, we are all very aware of the financial commitments and sacrifices that a business must make for its employees. If you ever expect that commitment to be returned then you must establish direct, clear, positive communication even in tough situations. How you handle this will not only affect the employee you are dealing with but your entire organization. You may as well reconcile yourself to the fact that people WILL take advantage of you. They will disrespect you. They will hurt you. This is a given in life and business. If you expect to be strong enough to lead a successful business then you must be willing to do the right thing even when the right thing is not done to you. Wouldn’t you rather cull 7 out of 10 employees just to have 3 dedicated to your vision and purpose rather than lump them all in the same group and risk losing the 3?

Recently I read an article where a restaurant owner in the Orlando area fired all of their employees with a last minute text letting them know they were no longer needed. I was near to a situation once where over twenty employees were given their last paycheck and told they were no longer needed by the receptionist. Obviously no one carrying the Christian banner should ever think this is acceptable. No matter how difficult the situation we always have the responsibility to look people in the eye and be honest. This can come in the form of many statements, “I’m sorry, financially our company is struggling and we’ve had to make some difficult decisions in order to try and pull through”, “I gave you two other chances and made it very clear you would not have another”, “The market for this division just isn’t as profitable as we need it to be, we had to make a decision for the best interest of the company as a whole.” Do any of these statements seem to be for pleasant situations? Absolutely not. However, as a Christian business owner or professional you have an obligation to handle difficult situations with grace but also with honesty and clarity. (Ephesians 4:25 Therefor each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.)

Another important factor in communicating honestly and clearly is employee morale. As a business owner or manager quite often it is easy to take the stance that something is none of someone’s business or “above their pay grade”. While this may be true, the way this is handled or communicated could have costly implications for your company. Employees who feel valued, included, and respected are far more productive than those who simply feel they are punching a clock every day. Does this mean you tell them everything? No. A spirit of wisdom and discernment is what helped you to the level you have reached. Do not abandon that now. I would also much rather hear employees’ bad ideas than have them feel their ideas are not valued at all. Yes, you will hear tons of bad ideas (leading you to question how some people even breathe on their own) but you never know when a golden nugget is hidden in there somewhere.

The last topic I’d like to address regarding clarity in communication is doing everything in your power to make sure that your reputation is to be a man or woman of your word. I think Matthew 5:37 (All you need to say is simply yes or no…) says it best. Any time I meet people who feel they have to promise me or swear to me that something will happen, I am automatically suspicious. If something comes out of your mouth then your employees should be confident that every ounce of your being will be used to insure it is done. With this in mind, be careful on just what does come out of our mouth.

The insight and reflections on communication I’ve shared above come from my experience as a salesman, director of sales, friendships with business owners, and through my experience now as I begin the journey of trying to start a company of my own. One thing I am blessed to say is that any time I have been involved in terminating an employee’s position with a company I could lay my head down at night and know they were given warnings, support in addressing the issues, and ultimately there was no other avenue to pursue with that person. I’ve yet to let anyone go or recommend they be let go based on a whim or an isolated incident.

As a business owner or manager of others you have a great responsibility. You are in essence a steward of other’s lives. Many of your employees have families to support as well as themselves. When you make mistakes or hasty decisions it can quite often have a ripple effect on so many others including those in your organization who observe your reactions to and handling of situations. We all make and will continue to make mistakes. What should make you different as a Christian business man or woman is how you handle them and how you regard those they affect.